Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Friday, April 13, 2007
Baby Talk Open House
We will be exhibiting at the Baby Talk Open House at the Roundhouse Community Centre in Vancouver tomorrow. Come by and say hello!
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Birth Choices - what is right for you?
Today we have more choices than ever about how we birth. We have the choice of using a doctor or midwife for our practitioner. We have the choice of birthing in the hospital or at home. We can choose who is present at the birth. We can choose to hire a doula. We can choose between a multitude of prenatal classes ranging from hospital-run classes to private classes in Lamaze, the Bradley method or Birthing From Within. We can enroll our older children in Sibling Preparation classes, we can take prenatal yoga or prenatal pilates, we can bring music, pillows and massage oil to the hospital. We can choose to labour in the tub or the shower or on a birth ball. We can play cards or go for a walk. We can birth squatting or standing or via elective cesarean. We can even write up elaborate detailed lists of all of our preferences and give this Birth Plan to our practioners.
Faced with all of these choices, how do you know what is right for you? How do you know that the choices you made before the big day will still be right when labour starts – especially if you are a first time mom?
Choice, in general, can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it is empowering and enriching to be given the opportunity to have a say in what happens to us. On the other, given too many choices or inadequate information to help in our decisions, the process of choosing can cause stress, anxiety and even guilt and depression. And when it comes to birth, it can give the misguided impression of control.
Relinquish Control (even those subconscious thoughts…)
The first thing you can do on your journey towards the right birth for you is to forget about those fantasies of your ideal birth. We all do it: we all have a vision in our heads of the way we hope our birth will proceed. These visions are rarely realistic (unless you imagined in your ideal birth that you would be half-naked on your hands and knees in a roomful of strangers). Birth is a dynamic process and we cannot control what happens. The woman who is determined to get her epidural before she’s finished with the hospital admitting desk may deliver baby at home in the bathroom attended by her partner. The woman who preaches natural birth from before conception may end up with a complication, or labour induction and a cesarean delivery. We’ve all read these stories and hoped it wouldn’t be us. But it could be. So the first step is to let go.
Read everything you can get your hands on
Knowledge is power. If you aren’t a reader, ask questions. Ask all the mothers you know what their experience was like. Ask your practioner all those nagging questions you’re afraid to speak out loud. Explore all the birth possibilities there are. Don’t shy away from those topics that you hope you won’t have to face (like having a long, drawn out back-labour or requiring a cesarean). Don’t write off ideas that are new to you (like homebirth, or hiring a doula). The more you can understand about the way labour progresses (or sometimes doesn’t) and the way labour is managed (or sometimes mis-managed), the better the chance that you will be able to play an active part in the process.
Be Flexible (but know your limits)
That is, be prepared to change your mind. Something that seemed right before birth may no longer be fitting during birth. Hell, something you asked for during one contraction, may not be what you want during the next. Accept the fact that you may need to revise your thinking in the face of new information. However, if at any time, you are uncomfortable with the care you are receiving, be confident that it is okay to assert yourself or have some intervene on your behalf. By trusting your instincts and your birth team, you’ll know when to stand your ground and when to adapt.
Gather good people around you
The people who support you and care for you during labour can make a huge difference. Consider carefully whether you want a doctor or a midwife, whether you will hire a doula and which friends and family members you would like present. Ask your care-givers questions and reserve the right to change your mind if you don’t feel comfortable. The time it takes at first to find good people could make the difference in how your birth unfolds or at least in how you feel (even when things don’t go as planned). Good people will give you information and not rush your decisions, will help keep you focused, will make you feel supported and empowered, will be positive and encouraging and will inspire trust.
Face your Fears
We all go into labour with a mixture of elation and apprehension but it’s good to ask yourself what it is you are afraid of before your water breaks. Hopefully a few weeks before. It’s hard to know how to manage a nebulous, nameless fear. But if you can seriously explore what scares you about birth (and motherhood) before the throes of labour send you into panic mode, the odds are you’ll be better equipped to deal with whatever comes your way. Try, if you can, to go a little deeper into your fears than the obvious like fear of pain or fear of a long labour. What about the pain scares you? Fear of not being strong enough? Fear of losing control? What about a long labour scares you? Facing your fears is emotionally exhausting but it would be a shame to let fear hold you back from the possibility of a truly rewarding experience.
Know yourself, know your situation
This is the easiest part because it might be decided for you. Are you a home-body who feels most comfortable with a few close friends rather than in the middle of a party? Maybe homebirth is an option for you. Are you an analytical person who is comforted by procedures and technology? Are you someone who always wants to be prepared for the worst case scenario? You might feel strongest birthing at a hospital or birth center. Are you totally against medicated birth? Perhaps a water birth is right for you. Is your baby breech? The safest bet for you and your baby could be a cesarean. Was your pregnancy a textbook case or did you suffer from multiple complications? Your health practitioner will be able to explain what your options are based on your personal situation and with a bit of self-analysis and thought, you’ll find the answers you’re looking for.
Often as labour day unfolds, it doesn’t come down to choice at all. We don’t choose when our babies will come or how they will make their entrance. Sometimes, circumstances arise that take the power from the mama and she needs to stretch and bend around the situation she is given. And sometimes, with trust, in our instincts, in ourselves, in our babies, in birth itself, our babies come just the way we knew they would. We do what we need to do and the most right thing of all is that they are safe.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Faced with all of these choices, how do you know what is right for you? How do you know that the choices you made before the big day will still be right when labour starts – especially if you are a first time mom?
Choice, in general, can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it is empowering and enriching to be given the opportunity to have a say in what happens to us. On the other, given too many choices or inadequate information to help in our decisions, the process of choosing can cause stress, anxiety and even guilt and depression. And when it comes to birth, it can give the misguided impression of control.
Relinquish Control (even those subconscious thoughts…)
The first thing you can do on your journey towards the right birth for you is to forget about those fantasies of your ideal birth. We all do it: we all have a vision in our heads of the way we hope our birth will proceed. These visions are rarely realistic (unless you imagined in your ideal birth that you would be half-naked on your hands and knees in a roomful of strangers). Birth is a dynamic process and we cannot control what happens. The woman who is determined to get her epidural before she’s finished with the hospital admitting desk may deliver baby at home in the bathroom attended by her partner. The woman who preaches natural birth from before conception may end up with a complication, or labour induction and a cesarean delivery. We’ve all read these stories and hoped it wouldn’t be us. But it could be. So the first step is to let go.
Read everything you can get your hands on
Knowledge is power. If you aren’t a reader, ask questions. Ask all the mothers you know what their experience was like. Ask your practioner all those nagging questions you’re afraid to speak out loud. Explore all the birth possibilities there are. Don’t shy away from those topics that you hope you won’t have to face (like having a long, drawn out back-labour or requiring a cesarean). Don’t write off ideas that are new to you (like homebirth, or hiring a doula). The more you can understand about the way labour progresses (or sometimes doesn’t) and the way labour is managed (or sometimes mis-managed), the better the chance that you will be able to play an active part in the process.
Be Flexible (but know your limits)
That is, be prepared to change your mind. Something that seemed right before birth may no longer be fitting during birth. Hell, something you asked for during one contraction, may not be what you want during the next. Accept the fact that you may need to revise your thinking in the face of new information. However, if at any time, you are uncomfortable with the care you are receiving, be confident that it is okay to assert yourself or have some intervene on your behalf. By trusting your instincts and your birth team, you’ll know when to stand your ground and when to adapt.
Gather good people around you
The people who support you and care for you during labour can make a huge difference. Consider carefully whether you want a doctor or a midwife, whether you will hire a doula and which friends and family members you would like present. Ask your care-givers questions and reserve the right to change your mind if you don’t feel comfortable. The time it takes at first to find good people could make the difference in how your birth unfolds or at least in how you feel (even when things don’t go as planned). Good people will give you information and not rush your decisions, will help keep you focused, will make you feel supported and empowered, will be positive and encouraging and will inspire trust.
Face your Fears
We all go into labour with a mixture of elation and apprehension but it’s good to ask yourself what it is you are afraid of before your water breaks. Hopefully a few weeks before. It’s hard to know how to manage a nebulous, nameless fear. But if you can seriously explore what scares you about birth (and motherhood) before the throes of labour send you into panic mode, the odds are you’ll be better equipped to deal with whatever comes your way. Try, if you can, to go a little deeper into your fears than the obvious like fear of pain or fear of a long labour. What about the pain scares you? Fear of not being strong enough? Fear of losing control? What about a long labour scares you? Facing your fears is emotionally exhausting but it would be a shame to let fear hold you back from the possibility of a truly rewarding experience.
Know yourself, know your situation
This is the easiest part because it might be decided for you. Are you a home-body who feels most comfortable with a few close friends rather than in the middle of a party? Maybe homebirth is an option for you. Are you an analytical person who is comforted by procedures and technology? Are you someone who always wants to be prepared for the worst case scenario? You might feel strongest birthing at a hospital or birth center. Are you totally against medicated birth? Perhaps a water birth is right for you. Is your baby breech? The safest bet for you and your baby could be a cesarean. Was your pregnancy a textbook case or did you suffer from multiple complications? Your health practitioner will be able to explain what your options are based on your personal situation and with a bit of self-analysis and thought, you’ll find the answers you’re looking for.
Often as labour day unfolds, it doesn’t come down to choice at all. We don’t choose when our babies will come or how they will make their entrance. Sometimes, circumstances arise that take the power from the mama and she needs to stretch and bend around the situation she is given. And sometimes, with trust, in our instincts, in ourselves, in our babies, in birth itself, our babies come just the way we knew they would. We do what we need to do and the most right thing of all is that they are safe.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Reflection
- What do you see when you visualize your ideal birth?
- Which elements of this visualistion are things within your control?
- What are your fears regarding birth?
- What things can you do before birth to help deal with these fears during birth?
- Ultimately, what are your priorities in birthing?
Post your comments and answers...
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Did You Know?
The hospital may not admit you until your labour has progressed to a certain point (contractions every 5 minutes lasting 40 seconds in length).
In Canada in 2000–2001, the average length of hospital stay after a vaginal delivery was about 2.5 days.*
You should be prepared to spend a portion of your labour at home even if you are planning for a hospital delivery. Ask your midwife for a list of things you can have on hand to make early labour and post-partum more comfortable or order a Before & After birth supplies box from Sweet Home Birth Boxes.
*Canadian Institute for Health Information’s publication Giving Birth in Canada: a Regional Profile
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
In Canada in 2000–2001, the average length of hospital stay after a vaginal delivery was about 2.5 days.*
You should be prepared to spend a portion of your labour at home even if you are planning for a hospital delivery. Ask your midwife for a list of things you can have on hand to make early labour and post-partum more comfortable or order a Before & After birth supplies box from Sweet Home Birth Boxes.
*Canadian Institute for Health Information’s publication Giving Birth in Canada: a Regional Profile
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
On The Shelf
The Birth That's Right For You
by Dr. Amen Ness, Lisa Gould Rubin & Jackie Frederick Berner
Publisher's Description:
Have the birth that’s right for you—not your mother, your sister or your best friend.
Dr. Amen Ness, doula Lisa Gould Rubin and mom Jackie Frederick-Berner believe that when it comes to the ideal birth method, there’s really only one best expert: YOU. The Birth That's Right for You helps you custom-tailor your birth experience by having you reflect on:
• The way you imagine giving birth
• How you cope with pain
• What you need to feel safe and secure
Based on your answers, you will be able to create an approach that will meet your needs whether you get the epidural, chant your way to delivery in a birthing pool, take a wait and see approach to medication, or any combination in between.
In The Birth That's Right for You, you will learn how to:
• Match yourself up to the coping strategies that best fit you
• Take a realistic look at your expectations and let go of everyone else's
• Assemble a labor and delivery team that supports what you want for yourself
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
On The Net
Utne Magazine has a good review of The Birth That's Right For You. You can read it free at their website.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Friday, March 23, 2007
Becoming Breastfeeding-Friendly
Mothering Magazine Issue 140
by Peggy O'Mara
I've just returned from giving a television interview about breastfeeding in public. I was asked to comment on the situation involving Emily Gillette and her 23-month-old daughter. Shortly after boarding a commercial airplane, Gillette was asked by a flight attendant to cover up with a blanket while she was breastfeeding. When Gillette declined the blanket, the flight attendant demanded that she and her family leave the airplane. As this was the last flight of the evening from Burlington, Vermont, Gillette and her family were forced to find accommodations late at night and fly out the next day. Their offense: breastfeeding in public.
Gillette lives in New Mexico, where 82 percent of mothers initiate breastfeeding and 70 percent are still nursing at three months. That first statistic surpasses the national average of 70 percent initiation, and tops the US Health and Human Services goal of 75 percent initiation by 2010. She is already part of a breastfeeding culture. Gillette is also part of a breastfeeding culture as a reader of Mothering magazine. Ninety-six percent of our readers initiate breastfeeding, and 80 percent are still nursing at one year and beyond.
These mothers are following the recommendations of the World Health Organization, which encourages breastfeeding for at least the child's first two years. In other words, they are following doctor's orders.
The risks of not breastfeeding are significant. The 2005 Progress Report on Breastfeeding, issued at the 49th Session on the Commission on the Status of Women, concludes that increasing the incidence of exclusive breastfeeding in the US would reduce the rate of death for children under five by 19 percent.
According to UNICEF, if infants worldwide were fed only mother's milk for their first six months, at least 1.3 million lives a year would be saved. In the first two months of life, an infant who is not exclusively breastfed is up to 25 times more likely than an exclusively breastfed baby to die from diarrhea, and four times more likely to die from pneumonia.
As these outstanding benefits and unacceptable risks make breastfeeding not a lifestyle choice but a health mandate, it is only a matter of time before the US as a whole becomes a breastfeeding culture. In order to do this, however, obviously we must have more breastfeeding. And in order to increase breastfeeding, we must encourage mothers to nurse in public. Breastfeeding in public is essential to successful breastfeeding because babies simply cannot wait to be fed. Whether bottle-fed or breastfed, babies need to eat often; if they are in public with their parents for extended periods of time, they will have to be fed.
No one gives a second thought to bottle-feeding in public. In fact, images of baby bottles are ubiquitous in popular culture and are sometimes even used in public places to designate nursery facilities. Despite the health mandate, a society saturated with such images can make a new mom feel that breastfeeding is out of the ordinary, or even abnormal. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, lack of public support for breastfeeding is one of the obstacles to its success. Fortunately, studies show that 93 percent of people in the US are just fine with breastfeeding in public.
When we published "Taking Down the Almighty Bottle," Stephanie Ondrack's article about breastfeeding in a bottle-feeding culture (Mothering, July-August 2006), our Art Director, Laura Egley Taylor, wondered whether a universal symbol for breastfeeding existed. We were surprised to find that it does not. While Canada and Singapore have such symbols, neither image is in wide use or compatible with international signage styles. The American Institute of Graphic Arts (AIGA), along with the US Department of Transportation, created the 50 standard symbols used by US sign companies today, but they did not include one for breastfeeding.
So, from July through mid-November 2006, Mothering held a contest to create a universal breastfeeding symbol. We received more than 500 entries from both the design and breastfeeding communities. A public vote was held on www.mothering.com, and votes were solicited from the major breastfeeding organizations.
The winning symbol was designed by Matt Daigle. Matt has been kind enough to assign his symbol design to the public domain, which means that it is copyright-free. We have made downloadable images of the symbol available free, and offer stickers for sale. I encourage you to use this symbol. Most important, we hope that a universal symbol will increase public awareness of breastfeeding. The symbol could also be used to designate baby-friendly and breastfeeding-friendly facilities in large public spaces.
Of course, breastfeeding does not require a special place. As the Canadian government's slogan says, it is appropriate "anytime, anywhere." The purpose of the symbol is not to segregate breastfeeding in any way, but to help better integrate it into society by better accommodating it in public.
For example, sometimes there is nowhere comfortable to feed the baby—or, for the mother separated from her baby, nowhere to plug in an electric breast pump. Mothers welcome private places in public where they can collect themselves and their children. This symbol could designate such places.
How do we use the symbol? We've already gotten a photo of the symbol posted on the front of a store in Redding, California, that sells cloth diapers, baby slings, and breastfeeding supplies. While we'll all probably want to use it as a bumper sticker, it is more about a specific place than a point of view.
The symbol will be most appropriate and helpful in large, public places where people remain for extended periods of time, such as airports, malls, and amusement parks, as well as conventions, expos, and other large international events. It could also be used in professional offices, retail establishments, or restaurants to indicate that these places are breastfeeding-friendly. However, its absence should not imply "breastfeeding-unfriendly," for breastfeeding in public is a basic human right. The symbol could also be used in businesses to designate a specific lactation room, as now required by law in California.
In public places, the use of this symbol could follow in the tradition of the family bathrooms one sees in large airports. These breastfeeding- and baby-friendly places could be located in or near restrooms, which often are the only private places to be found in otherwise public spaces. If such restrooms also have a comfortable chair and perhaps an electric plug, they could accommodate the feeding needs of most infants. And, like changing tables, they should be available to moms and dads. Everyone wants to feel welcome in public, and we feel welcome as parents when our needs are accommodated.
We once published an article on Sweden that included photos of the various signs used there to indicate child-friendly facilities (More Than Welcome: Families Come First in Sweden by Brittany Shahmehri, November-December 2001). One purpose of a breastfeeding symbol is to help more US families feel more welcome in public. The TV reporter asked me today why I thought some people were uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public. First, it's a cultural bias. Many of us, like Emily Gillette, are part of a breastfeeding culture and are therefore so accustomed to seeing breastfeeding that we hardly give it a second thought. Others, like the flight attendant, are presumably part of a bottle-feeding culture and are thus unaccustomed to breastfeeding, particularly to extended breastfeeding. It is common for human beings to be suspicious of things they are unfamiliar with.
Second, it is also common for human beings to be fascinated with things they have seldom or never seen before, to stare and gawk and appear rude in the face of the new fascination. Sometimes people who are unfamiliar with breastfeeding interpret their quite normal fascination as prurient or are simply embarrassed by their own responses. People new to seeing breastfeeding may interpret their inability to stop staring as evidence that breastfeeding has sexual overtones. It does not.
Both of these reasons, however, are prejudices, and we cannot afford to accommodate prejudice if we are to be a healthy society. There is nothing inherently offensive about breastfeeding—quite the contrary. When a person feels uncomfortable, it is his or her beliefs, not breastfeeding itself, that are the problem. This lack of comfort is not a legitimate reason to impose those beliefs on others. People who are offended by breastfeeding just have to get over it, or remove themselves from the situation.
Mothering has often run into this sort of fear and prejudice. I was amused to read last fall that another parenting publication had proudly announced the radical act of publishing a photo of breastfeeding on their cover. We've been doing that for years, and have sometimes been dismayed to find that our magazines have been removed from newsstands or covered up, even in natural-foods stores.
In all cases, we have found that the act of removing the magazine from the shelves was a reactive response to a customer complaint, and often in violation of the store's existing policy. Without exception, the store management apologized to us and, if there was not already such a policy in place, instituted a written policy for distinguishing between pornography and images of breastfeeding. And they always put the magazine back on the stands.
Emily Gillette has filed a complaint against Delta Air Lines and Freedom Airlines with the Vermont Human Rights Commission. Breastfeeding is protected in Vermont under the state's Public Accommodations Act. Gillette wants to make sure that breastfeeding is protected on these two airlines as well.
We, too, want to protect breastfeeding. Imagine with us a breastfeeding-friendly society. As this issue was going to press, we heard about a nurse-in at national airports in support of Gillette's request. One of the goals of the nurse-in is to introduce the new breastfeeding symbol. We're eager to see how it is accepted, and where it goes. Please send us photos of the symbol in use. And keep on breastfeeding.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
by Peggy O'Mara
I've just returned from giving a television interview about breastfeeding in public. I was asked to comment on the situation involving Emily Gillette and her 23-month-old daughter. Shortly after boarding a commercial airplane, Gillette was asked by a flight attendant to cover up with a blanket while she was breastfeeding. When Gillette declined the blanket, the flight attendant demanded that she and her family leave the airplane. As this was the last flight of the evening from Burlington, Vermont, Gillette and her family were forced to find accommodations late at night and fly out the next day. Their offense: breastfeeding in public.
Gillette lives in New Mexico, where 82 percent of mothers initiate breastfeeding and 70 percent are still nursing at three months. That first statistic surpasses the national average of 70 percent initiation, and tops the US Health and Human Services goal of 75 percent initiation by 2010. She is already part of a breastfeeding culture. Gillette is also part of a breastfeeding culture as a reader of Mothering magazine. Ninety-six percent of our readers initiate breastfeeding, and 80 percent are still nursing at one year and beyond.
These mothers are following the recommendations of the World Health Organization, which encourages breastfeeding for at least the child's first two years. In other words, they are following doctor's orders.
The risks of not breastfeeding are significant. The 2005 Progress Report on Breastfeeding, issued at the 49th Session on the Commission on the Status of Women, concludes that increasing the incidence of exclusive breastfeeding in the US would reduce the rate of death for children under five by 19 percent.
According to UNICEF, if infants worldwide were fed only mother's milk for their first six months, at least 1.3 million lives a year would be saved. In the first two months of life, an infant who is not exclusively breastfed is up to 25 times more likely than an exclusively breastfed baby to die from diarrhea, and four times more likely to die from pneumonia.
As these outstanding benefits and unacceptable risks make breastfeeding not a lifestyle choice but a health mandate, it is only a matter of time before the US as a whole becomes a breastfeeding culture. In order to do this, however, obviously we must have more breastfeeding. And in order to increase breastfeeding, we must encourage mothers to nurse in public. Breastfeeding in public is essential to successful breastfeeding because babies simply cannot wait to be fed. Whether bottle-fed or breastfed, babies need to eat often; if they are in public with their parents for extended periods of time, they will have to be fed.
No one gives a second thought to bottle-feeding in public. In fact, images of baby bottles are ubiquitous in popular culture and are sometimes even used in public places to designate nursery facilities. Despite the health mandate, a society saturated with such images can make a new mom feel that breastfeeding is out of the ordinary, or even abnormal. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, lack of public support for breastfeeding is one of the obstacles to its success. Fortunately, studies show that 93 percent of people in the US are just fine with breastfeeding in public.
When we published "Taking Down the Almighty Bottle," Stephanie Ondrack's article about breastfeeding in a bottle-feeding culture (Mothering, July-August 2006), our Art Director, Laura Egley Taylor, wondered whether a universal symbol for breastfeeding existed. We were surprised to find that it does not. While Canada and Singapore have such symbols, neither image is in wide use or compatible with international signage styles. The American Institute of Graphic Arts (AIGA), along with the US Department of Transportation, created the 50 standard symbols used by US sign companies today, but they did not include one for breastfeeding.
So, from July through mid-November 2006, Mothering held a contest to create a universal breastfeeding symbol. We received more than 500 entries from both the design and breastfeeding communities. A public vote was held on www.mothering.com, and votes were solicited from the major breastfeeding organizations.
The winning symbol was designed by Matt Daigle. Matt has been kind enough to assign his symbol design to the public domain, which means that it is copyright-free. We have made downloadable images of the symbol available free, and offer stickers for sale. I encourage you to use this symbol. Most important, we hope that a universal symbol will increase public awareness of breastfeeding. The symbol could also be used to designate baby-friendly and breastfeeding-friendly facilities in large public spaces.
Of course, breastfeeding does not require a special place. As the Canadian government's slogan says, it is appropriate "anytime, anywhere." The purpose of the symbol is not to segregate breastfeeding in any way, but to help better integrate it into society by better accommodating it in public.
For example, sometimes there is nowhere comfortable to feed the baby—or, for the mother separated from her baby, nowhere to plug in an electric breast pump. Mothers welcome private places in public where they can collect themselves and their children. This symbol could designate such places.
How do we use the symbol? We've already gotten a photo of the symbol posted on the front of a store in Redding, California, that sells cloth diapers, baby slings, and breastfeeding supplies. While we'll all probably want to use it as a bumper sticker, it is more about a specific place than a point of view.
The symbol will be most appropriate and helpful in large, public places where people remain for extended periods of time, such as airports, malls, and amusement parks, as well as conventions, expos, and other large international events. It could also be used in professional offices, retail establishments, or restaurants to indicate that these places are breastfeeding-friendly. However, its absence should not imply "breastfeeding-unfriendly," for breastfeeding in public is a basic human right. The symbol could also be used in businesses to designate a specific lactation room, as now required by law in California.
In public places, the use of this symbol could follow in the tradition of the family bathrooms one sees in large airports. These breastfeeding- and baby-friendly places could be located in or near restrooms, which often are the only private places to be found in otherwise public spaces. If such restrooms also have a comfortable chair and perhaps an electric plug, they could accommodate the feeding needs of most infants. And, like changing tables, they should be available to moms and dads. Everyone wants to feel welcome in public, and we feel welcome as parents when our needs are accommodated.
We once published an article on Sweden that included photos of the various signs used there to indicate child-friendly facilities (More Than Welcome: Families Come First in Sweden by Brittany Shahmehri, November-December 2001). One purpose of a breastfeeding symbol is to help more US families feel more welcome in public. The TV reporter asked me today why I thought some people were uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public. First, it's a cultural bias. Many of us, like Emily Gillette, are part of a breastfeeding culture and are therefore so accustomed to seeing breastfeeding that we hardly give it a second thought. Others, like the flight attendant, are presumably part of a bottle-feeding culture and are thus unaccustomed to breastfeeding, particularly to extended breastfeeding. It is common for human beings to be suspicious of things they are unfamiliar with.
Second, it is also common for human beings to be fascinated with things they have seldom or never seen before, to stare and gawk and appear rude in the face of the new fascination. Sometimes people who are unfamiliar with breastfeeding interpret their quite normal fascination as prurient or are simply embarrassed by their own responses. People new to seeing breastfeeding may interpret their inability to stop staring as evidence that breastfeeding has sexual overtones. It does not.
Both of these reasons, however, are prejudices, and we cannot afford to accommodate prejudice if we are to be a healthy society. There is nothing inherently offensive about breastfeeding—quite the contrary. When a person feels uncomfortable, it is his or her beliefs, not breastfeeding itself, that are the problem. This lack of comfort is not a legitimate reason to impose those beliefs on others. People who are offended by breastfeeding just have to get over it, or remove themselves from the situation.
Mothering has often run into this sort of fear and prejudice. I was amused to read last fall that another parenting publication had proudly announced the radical act of publishing a photo of breastfeeding on their cover. We've been doing that for years, and have sometimes been dismayed to find that our magazines have been removed from newsstands or covered up, even in natural-foods stores.
In all cases, we have found that the act of removing the magazine from the shelves was a reactive response to a customer complaint, and often in violation of the store's existing policy. Without exception, the store management apologized to us and, if there was not already such a policy in place, instituted a written policy for distinguishing between pornography and images of breastfeeding. And they always put the magazine back on the stands.
Emily Gillette has filed a complaint against Delta Air Lines and Freedom Airlines with the Vermont Human Rights Commission. Breastfeeding is protected in Vermont under the state's Public Accommodations Act. Gillette wants to make sure that breastfeeding is protected on these two airlines as well.
We, too, want to protect breastfeeding. Imagine with us a breastfeeding-friendly society. As this issue was going to press, we heard about a nurse-in at national airports in support of Gillette's request. One of the goals of the nurse-in is to introduce the new breastfeeding symbol. We're eager to see how it is accepted, and where it goes. Please send us photos of the symbol in use. And keep on breastfeeding.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
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