What can you do to create special birth rites for your birth or for a friend or family member?
The Birth
- Carefully consider who you would like present at the birth, who you would like as the first visitors. Ask that they respect the sacredness of the event.
- Think of ways that you can honour the baby in the first moments after the birth. Light candles for mother, father and grandparents. Keep the last candle (for the baby) unlit until after the birth. Have a special person light the baby’s candle.
- If you have had a healthy, complication-free pregnancy, research the possibility of having a homebirth, even if you hadn’t thought of it previously. Homebirth is often an extremely rewarding and uplifting experience. You have more control over who is present and where and how you labour. In terms of rites of passage, the added bonus is that your baby will arrive into the safe, comforting atmosphere of his/her own home. Think of the ways that home and shelter are important to you and consider whether you would like to honour those values in your birth. For more info on homebirth, how to prepare and safety concerns, visit www.sweethomebirth.com or talk to your health practitioner.
- If you decide that homebirth is right for you, search for a practitioner who will be willing to attend. Try your local Midwives Association for a referral to a midwife.
- Commit to Lying In. That is, to spend the first 5-15 days of baby’s life in, on or near the bed. This means, mom and baby for sure but if possible, dad and siblings as well. Don’t have too many visitors and don’t venture out of the house. Cocoon, recover and get to know each other. Cement your new family. Have dad or relatives take care of cooking, cleaning and laundry. Set the number of days for lying in and stick to it. (Read the article in Mothering Magazine Sept Oct 2006).
Baby's First Bath
- Organize a special setting for baby’s first bath. Use candles. Recite poetry or say some special words of thanks for your baby. Make the bath as calming and enjoyable for baby as possible.
- Request that the nurses not bath your baby. Perform the first bath yourself. Turn the lights down low. Make the occasion an intimate first moment as a family. Count toes. Whisper. Make eye contact. Get to know each other.
Food/Feast
- If your family has a special meal that you eat at certain times of the year, have a close relative prepare it for you as the first meal after the baby is born or comes home from the hospital.
- If you have an ethnic dessert or sweet in your family traditions, make a big batch to distribute to visitors in honour of your baby’s heritage.
- Make a Groaning Cake during early labour to share with birth attendants and well wishers after the birth. Amy McKay talks about Groaning Cakes in her novel, The Birth House and she has a recipe on her website: http://www.thebirthhouse.com/recipes.htm.
- Have a friend bring over a birthday cake for the baby when you return home from the hospital.
Ceremonies/Naming
- Plan a Welcome Baby party/Presentation Ceremony. Invite friends and family to a gathering to meet and celebrate the baby. Remember to wait an appropriate amount of time before committing to a large gathering. You want to enjoy the occasion and not tire yourself when you are recovering from birth and learning to parent. Try to enlist a friend or relative to do most of the planning and hosting.
- Consider keeping the baby’s name a secret until you can have a formal presentation at your home, place of worship or another planned gathering like the one suggested above.
- Invite friends and relatives to bring small symbolic gifts to present at the ceremony. Have them explain what the gift represents for the baby. Eg. a coin for wealth, an apple for health, a needle and thread for industriousness, a plant for growth and respect of nature. Encourage guests to use their imagination or to look for ideas online.
- Provide guests with a list of flower meanings before the party and have each bring a single flower representing their hopes for the baby. After guests present and explain their choice, combine all of the flowers into a single bouquet representing the support of the baby’s community. Take a picture of baby and guests with the bouquet.
- Think of ways you can incorporate the spiritual into your celebration. Say a prayer or sing. Read a religious text. Ask your religious leader if there is some formal presentation that could be done in your place of worship.
Miscellaneous
- Ask the doctors to give you the placenta. Plant it in your garden under a new fruit tree. The tree will receive extra nourishment from the mineral rich placenta. In years to come, your child will know this tree as their tree.
- Keep a pregnancy journal and continue writing in it in the first months after baby is born to document and work through your feelings.
- Write out your birth story and consider sharing it with friends or an online community such as www.mothering.com or have it posted at www.sweethomebirth.com. This is a great way to process and reflect on the event.
- Read Birthing From Within by Pam England and try some of the many many great suggestions.
- Have friends organize a Blessingway rather than a baby shower. A Blessingway is a mother-centered ceremony/celebration based on the Navajo tradition and preformed late in pregnancy. Usually attended only by women, it is meant to acknowledge and give strength to the mother for the sacred journey she is about to undertake. For more info, check out Blessingways; A Guide to Mother-Centered Baby Showers by Shari Maser www.blessingway.net
- Brainstorm ways you can involve the father over and above the usual (announcing the birth by calling family and cutting the umbilical cord). Ask him if there is something special that he would like to do. Acknowledge that he is undergoing a passage as well (even if he may not show it).
Sources
Blessingways - http://mother-care.ca/blessing.htm
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
No comments:
Post a Comment