Confident Beginnings Shoppe (Formerly Sweet Home Birth) is now open! Come visit us:
Shoppe
We have a special discount in celebration for our grand opening, type the coupon code "babylove" at checkout and receive a 10% discount off of your order!
Please let me know if you would like to see anything special at the Shoppe!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Induced Lactation
More and more babies are being brought into the world with the help of Surrogates. This is nothing short of a miracle and these Surrogates are often thought of as “Angels on Earth” for what they do.
What many families are unaware of is that even though mothers are not always able to birth their own babies, they are still able to nourish them once they are here. Through a process of induced lactation a woman who has never even been pregnant before is able to feed her own child and reap the many benefits that breastfeeding has to offer.
As a Board Certified Lactation Consultant I have helped several mothers bring in a milk supply for their child, regardless if they have birthed that child or not.
How in the world is this possible? We simply trick the body into thinking it’s pregnant by using birth control, and together with other medications establish a milk supply, so by the time the baby is born they are able to feed their baby themselves. Sometimes supplementation is needed, but often a woman is able to achieve a full supply. The longer a woman has to prepare, the better results we see.
Even women who have had a hysterectomy or are in the midst of menopause can do this! How exciting that mothers are able to enjoy breastfeeding their children, no matter how they entered this world!
What many families are unaware of is that even though mothers are not always able to birth their own babies, they are still able to nourish them once they are here. Through a process of induced lactation a woman who has never even been pregnant before is able to feed her own child and reap the many benefits that breastfeeding has to offer.
As a Board Certified Lactation Consultant I have helped several mothers bring in a milk supply for their child, regardless if they have birthed that child or not.
How in the world is this possible? We simply trick the body into thinking it’s pregnant by using birth control, and together with other medications establish a milk supply, so by the time the baby is born they are able to feed their baby themselves. Sometimes supplementation is needed, but often a woman is able to achieve a full supply. The longer a woman has to prepare, the better results we see.
Even women who have had a hysterectomy or are in the midst of menopause can do this! How exciting that mothers are able to enjoy breastfeeding their children, no matter how they entered this world!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Hypnobabies Class
I just wanted to post that I have a Hypnobabies class starting in Irvine on Wednesday September 16th from 6-9pm.
I also have a class that will be starting in September that will be in Laguna Beach! Dates to come!
Why choose a natural, easier birth using Hynobabies? The benefits are many:
● You will use fewer drugs or no drugs, which means less risk of side effects for you and your baby, due to elimination of the Fear/Tension/Pain Syndrome, and using post-hypnotic suggestions.
● Most Hypno-mothers have shorter labors since there is less resistance of the birthing muscles when pain and fear are minimized or eliminated.
● You will generally have much more energy throughout first and second stage, due to your total relaxation throughout the birthing process.
● The birthing environment is much more calm and peaceful when you, the natural childbirth mother are comfortable, relaxed and confident.
● Breech and posterior babies can be turned using hypnosis.
● Blood pressure, heart rate, and temperature can be lowered and nausea, back and hip pain eliminated with hypnosis during pregnancy and labor.
● There are fewer interventions for failure to progress and therefore fewer complications during labor for our mothers and babies.
● The deep relaxation in Hypnobabies sessions has also helped many a nervous birth partner to enjoy their partner's pregnancy and childbirth, and the skills that the Hypno-couple learns for relaxation and hypnosis will benefit them for the rest of their lives.
● As a Hypno-Mom, you are easily "deprogrammed" from the usual negativity of childbirth stories and scenarios you may have heard or read, by way of training in Hypnobabies classes and audio CDs which have positive messages and hypnotic suggestions. This automatically allows you to have a much more positive attitude and confidence in birthing. It is truly a gift that you are giving yourself, an amazingly easy way to enjoy your pregnancy more and actually look forward to your baby's birth.
I also have a class that will be starting in September that will be in Laguna Beach! Dates to come!
Why choose a natural, easier birth using Hynobabies? The benefits are many:
● You will use fewer drugs or no drugs, which means less risk of side effects for you and your baby, due to elimination of the Fear/Tension/Pain Syndrome, and using post-hypnotic suggestions.
● Most Hypno-mothers have shorter labors since there is less resistance of the birthing muscles when pain and fear are minimized or eliminated.
● You will generally have much more energy throughout first and second stage, due to your total relaxation throughout the birthing process.
● The birthing environment is much more calm and peaceful when you, the natural childbirth mother are comfortable, relaxed and confident.
● Breech and posterior babies can be turned using hypnosis.
● Blood pressure, heart rate, and temperature can be lowered and nausea, back and hip pain eliminated with hypnosis during pregnancy and labor.
● There are fewer interventions for failure to progress and therefore fewer complications during labor for our mothers and babies.
● The deep relaxation in Hypnobabies sessions has also helped many a nervous birth partner to enjoy their partner's pregnancy and childbirth, and the skills that the Hypno-couple learns for relaxation and hypnosis will benefit them for the rest of their lives.
● As a Hypno-Mom, you are easily "deprogrammed" from the usual negativity of childbirth stories and scenarios you may have heard or read, by way of training in Hypnobabies classes and audio CDs which have positive messages and hypnotic suggestions. This automatically allows you to have a much more positive attitude and confidence in birthing. It is truly a gift that you are giving yourself, an amazingly easy way to enjoy your pregnancy more and actually look forward to your baby's birth.
Monday, July 20, 2009
The birth of Zen
Here is a beautiful birth story from one of my Hypnobabies students:
This is the birth story of my son, he was brought into the world in the comfort of his own home in the room that he will grow up in and in the water. It all started on the peaceful starry Saturday morning,
By the way, this whole entire time I was under hypnosis, so what many may construe as pain, I saw it as intense pressure and I actually enjoyed it. Every so often after a pressure wave, I would reach down and could actually feel my son's head! That was the coolest thing in the world. It was so soft and fuzzy. I wasn't afraid as I've seen some women in videos be. I kept feeling his head knowing that soon he would be joining us in this big bad world!
By 7 he was starting to crown and finally 20 minutes later his head was out! My partner was behind me as I was on my hands and knees in the water, and she was doing a great job calling out the play by play as my family watched quietly, which I was completely unaware of. (This hypnobabies stuff really works!) 1 minute later out came sliding our son, my partner was able to catch him with the help of the midwife and he was passed under to me as in a football hold, but I was so tired and out of it that he got to go swimming for a second before I caught him. I tried pulling him up to me as I tried to sit up at the same time, but his cord somehow in the transition got wrapped around his neck. Finally off of his neck we laid there and looked at him as he gasped for his first breath of air. Finally he was here and we all cried and laughed and were in awe of this beautiful baby boy!
Born into this world at
Monday, July 13, 2009
I just want to hang...
So, I have reflected a lot on my birth and what bothered me the most was that I couldn't find a position I felt comfortable in. I didn't want to hold myself up anymore, but I didn't want to lay down on the ground either.
Since then, I remember hearing that Penny Simkin suggested having a birth sling and I've even seen pictures of it. It sounds wonderful! To hang during your birthing, I think this is exactly what I would have loved!
However, when I went online to find out more about it and find some pictures, I really came up with nothing!
So, does anyone out there know where you could get a birth sling? I don't know if I will birth anymore babies, but I would love to have it as a resource for the parents that I work with.
I can't be the only mom that wanted to hang during her birthing can I? Hmmmm, maybe I'm just different. But there's gotta be other "different" people out there!
Since then, I remember hearing that Penny Simkin suggested having a birth sling and I've even seen pictures of it. It sounds wonderful! To hang during your birthing, I think this is exactly what I would have loved!
However, when I went online to find out more about it and find some pictures, I really came up with nothing!
So, does anyone out there know where you could get a birth sling? I don't know if I will birth anymore babies, but I would love to have it as a resource for the parents that I work with.
I can't be the only mom that wanted to hang during her birthing can I? Hmmmm, maybe I'm just different. But there's gotta be other "different" people out there!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I love my Moby!
Moby® Wrap was voted "Favorite Baby Carrier" by Baby and Children's Product News' readers survey. Moby® Wrap was also recently named in Pregnancy Magazine as a "must have for colic," (April, p 48), as well as the "best value" baby carrier in Fit Pregnancy Magazine gear issue (April/May, p 14).
Add onto that: it saved my life and made my son stop crying each time I put it on. No exaggerating there.
Ok, well maybe it didn't really save my life, but I am pretty sure that it saved my sanity.
My son, who is 3 months now has definitely been outspoken about his wants and needs. This is totally fine with me, but sometimes I don't understand exactly what hes telling me.
My wonderful Midwife gave me my Moby as a birthing gift. I had seen it many times and encouraged moms to use them, but for me, it just looked too complicated. The first time my husband and I tried to use it was when my little guy was a week old. We put it on my husband without totally reading the instructions and it was an utter failure. I put it away for the next week or so and tried my other slings, but my son didn't like those. So, I decided I would try the Moby again and see if he enjoyed that. SUCCESS!
Now, my son is in his Moby once a day at least. He loves being worn (as most babies do!) and I love wearing him. It feels so empowering to be able to wrap him up on my chest and make him feel so safe and secure. We now start our mornings out with walks on the beach (him in his Moby of course) and I couldn't think of a better way to start our day.
I am a big advocate for baby wearing, babies need to be listened to and held close. Babywearing is known to help with digestion, communication, development, trust and of course less crying overall. Plus, it just feels good... so why wouldn't you do it?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The Birth Of Apollo Thomas Kurtyka
It was 12:30 on March 8th, the one day I knew Apollo wouldnt be coming since it was his due date and no babies are actually born on their due date! Steve and I were trying to decide what we were going to do with our lazy Sunday; Steve just got off the phone with his Uncle Steve, who told him that he saw something on National Geographic about a tribe of women who just start pushing down on a pregnant womans belly to get things going. I told him we would not be trying that, instead he gave me a great big hug. During the hug I felt like I wet myself after standing there for a second I told Steve what I felt and went to the bathroom. When I first sat down I heard something drain into the toilet, but when I waited for more and gently pushed, nothing more came out. So, I got on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor and did some pelvic rocking, hoping it would encourage a little more drainage, but nothing happened. I told Steve I was going to lay down for 10 minutes and then when I get up, there would be more water, so we would know it was for sure my bag of water that broke. After 10 minutes of anxiously lying down, I got up and felt nothing, so Steve and I got ready to take a walk. On the way out the door, I had a gush of fluid come out and I had no doubt anymore that my bag of water had broken.
I had a huge rush of excitement; I had secretly been asking that everything started with my bag of water breaking, so that way I would really know things were going to happen.
Steve and I decided to go for a walk still, it was at that time that I felt everything between us deepened a bit even though we had been on the path to parenthood for the past nine months, this was really it; we were going to work together to bring our child into the world now, its something that I cant really put into words, but I knew we were reaching a new level in our relationship, a very spiritual level and I couldnt wait for what was in store.
During our walk, I was starting to gush fluid, so I told Steve I wanted to go back home. We decided to watch a movie, since contractions hadnt started and we wanted to stay distracted. I alerted my sister that our little man would be coming sometime soon and she notified friends and family for me, so I wouldnt have to worry about people hounding me. Steve and I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening together in quiet excitement, knowing that finally we were going to meet this little man who was going to change our lives forever.
Ella came back from her Dads house around 8, I was so happy she was there, my family was all together now. She was so excited that she was going to meet her brother soon, she could hardly contain herself. We watched Madagascar 2 together and then took a nice walk outside; it was such a beautiful evening, with a slight chill in the air and the feeling that big things were coming soon!
Around 9pm Jen (my sister) and Amanda (my niece) came over to spend the night, and later my mom came up from San Diego. Steve and I went to sleep around 10, I was admittedly a little disappointed nothing had happened yet. I remained positive though, thankful that I would get some sleep before everything got going at least. We went to sleep listening to my Hypnobabies CD, relaxing me and putting me to sleep quickly.
I woke around 6:30 in the morning on March 9th, the first thing I said to myself was, I cant believe Im still pregnant! Sue, my midwife had told me to call her in the morning if I was still pregnant, but I didnt want to bother her yet, so I went out into the living room (leaving Steve and Ella snoring away in the bedroom) and woke my sister. We chatted a little bit, but my sister was pretty tired, so I let her be for a while. I waited until 7 and called Sue. She gave me my choices (hospital, wait and do nothing, or try to get things stimulated), I chose to stimulate things. First thing Sue told me to do was get a nice big breakfast in me, then start alternating between blue and black cohosh tinctures every hour. So I woke everyone up and we went to Mothers market to get the tinctures and then had a great breakfast at IHOP.
While at IHOP I noticed my contractions coming every 15 minutes or so. They werent too strong, I was able to talk through them no problem. I was really excited that my body was starting to get going on its own. Once home I did start the blue and black cohosh and just hung out with my family.
We all took a little walk down the street, it was so nice to be outside, feeling the ocean air on my face and having those I love with me, supporting me. This was the perfect day to bring my baby out to meet the world.
My Mom and Sister went and got some lunch for us around 1:30. My contractions were still coming every 10 minutes or so and not very strong. At 2 I was to start a castor oil smoothie, if things werent getting more intense, so we started making that after lunch was over.
Times and events are a bit blurry for me after this point, but I know my Midwives, Sue and Lindsey told me they were on their way to the hospital because another client of theirs had a retained placenta. I was fine with them being busy, I didnt feel like anything was going to happen soon anyway.
I was about 3-4 sips into my castor oil smoothie and my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. Lindsey called and told me to stop drinking it, because they didnt want me to go to fast and not have them there. They let me know that they called a back up Midwife (another Sue!) and she would be there in a bit.
One of my best images of my birthing is when I was in the backyard with Steve, Ella, Jen, Amanda, my mom and Sarah (my friend). We were all just enjoying the beautiful weather, every time I got a contraction, I would use my peace cue (from Hypnobabies) and rest on the table or on Steve. Many times, I would feel hands on my back or shoulder, hands of my loved ones, giving me their strength through every contraction. I loved this part of my labor.
I came inside after a while, my contractions were much closer now, probably about 2-3 minutes apart. I wanted my friend Casandra there, because shes assisted at many births and I knew if Apollo decided to come soon, she could at least help. After only being inside for about 10 minutes, Casandra and Lily (photographer) were there, I was very relieved. At that point, I think my body relaxed a little more and things got noticeably stronger.
Not long after that, Sue, the backup midwife got there. She immediately listened to Apollos heartbeat, that was the best sound to me. Once she was there and I heard my little man, I totally let go and let my body totally take over.
Things got intense FAST!
They soon filled up the birth pool and I got in. Steve got in with me and I remember how protected I felt when I sat back on him and felt like I just curled my entire body into him. He held me, protected me and loved me. He put my headphones on me and I listened to my birth guide script. This really focused me so much and I was glad he thought to use this now. Ella, Casandra and perhaps others (I never had my eyes open) were wiping me down with washcloths and it felt excellent. I was surrounded in love.
Soon, my midwives Sue and Lindsey arrived. I remember looking over at them and smiling, again, relieved that they were there. It wasnt long after that that I started to wonder if I could take much more of the intensity, I doubted myself. Sue checked me and said I was 4cm, this was unbelievable to me, I knew I had to be further, but I wasnt! I know it was soon after this I started vomiting with so much force it just shook my whole body. After discussing this with my midwife later I realized that this was helping my body fully dilate. My sister said she saw blood coming out each time (a sign I was dilating), so my body was just helping push things along for me. How amazing our bodies are! I was giving up on myself mentally, but my body was pushing along, dilating and effacing me quickly. Now I have learned that trust is essential, I know now to trust my body completely, it always knew what to do and how to do it.
Since I was losing my mental strength, Sue suggested Steve and I be alone. So we went into our bedroom. I found it very hard to get comfortable in there and was just on my knees with my face on the bed. As I got weaker mentally, Steve got stronger. He somehow knew all the right things to say, he got me through the hardest parts with just his words.
I have no idea who suggested it, but Steve and I were in the shower next. I honestly hated this, position-wise, I wanted to be on my hands and knees or closer to the ground, instead I was standing and leaning in the shower. This was my favorite part overall between Steve and I. Steve told me things while in the shower that I will keep with me forever, just thinking of the things he said now makes me want to cry. I fell in love with him a million times over in that moment. Even though I was saying I couldnt do it, at that point, I knew I wanted to do it and that I could do it, because of him.
When we got out of the shower, Steve encouraged me into the pool again, but I said no. I wanted to go back into the room, I have no clue why I chose this, but it was where my spirit pulled me. While in the room, on my hands and knees, I kept thinking that since the shower, I felt Apollo moving down. I wondered if I should push with this feeling. So, I tried it. I instantly wanted to get on the ground, so I remember looking down and seeing Tenaya, our dog, and just thinking, oh well! I plopped myself on the ground next to her and pushed. Sue was asking if I was pushing, but she didnt need an answer, she knew I was and quickly yelled out to the living room for the other midwife to get the birth supplies. Steve told me he remembered looking down and seeing Apollos head!
I really loved pushing, I wish I would have done it sooner, when I had felt him moving down. This was for sure my favorite part. I know I pushed a couple times and yelled (Ella said that scared her!) but it felt really good to be vocal. After just a few pushes he was out, born into his Daddys (and the midwifes) hands! I couldnt believe it!!! He was wrapped up awkwardly in his cord, so it took a minute before I saw him. He was brought up to my chest and I was overcome with emotion. I knew Ella was up at my head and soon Steve was too, Apollo was in my arms and I was, at that very moment, 100% complete.
Everyone had flooded into the room when they heard me pushing, so the room was filled with so much love when he entered it. I am so thankful for this. There were no cold, sterile rooms, no nurses or doctors to take him to the warming table; instead there was a room filled with happiness and love, our son was never taken from our arms.
Fast forward about 4 hours, the house was cleared of all our guests; Steve, Ella, Apollo and I were all laying in bed together. I looked at my family and tears came to my eyes, this is what it feels like to be complete, to feel whole
Apollos stats:
Born: 3/09/2009 at 7pm
7lbs10oz
21 in long
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Just more reason not to smoke...
Its always disgusted me when I see pregnant women smoking, in fact, I've heard about pregnant women smoking just so they would have low birth weight babies.. Those women just shouldn't be allowed to have children, in my own humble opinion!
Here is more reason why smoking during or soon after pregnancy is not ok!
Children Whose Mothers Smoked During Pregnancy And Early Childhood More Likely To Smoke As Adults
ScienceDaily (May 21, 2009) — Children of mothers who smoked during pregnancy and their early childhood years may be predisposed to take up smoking as teens and young adults, compounding the physical damage they sustained from the smoke exposure.
"It is well-known that maternal smoking influences a developing fetus in myriad ways, contributing to low birth weight, premature birth and a host of other health problems after birth," said Roni Grad, M.D., associate professor of clinical pediatrics at the University of Arizona College of Medicine. "Previous studies have suggested that maternal smoking during pregnancy may increase the risk of the offspring becoming regular smokers as adults, but the impact of postnatal cigarette smoke exposure was hard to differentiate from prenatal exposure."
The study results will be presented on May 19, at the American Thoracic Society's 105th International Conference in San Diego.
To determine the impact of maternal smoking during pregnancy and early childhood, the on the smoking behavior of the offspring as young adults, the researchers used data from the Tucson Children's Respiratory Study. Maternal smoking during pregnancy, at nine days, 1.5 months and 1.5 years was used to assess smoke exposure during pregnancy and the early life of the child. Maternal smoking was further assessed at ages six, nine and eleven years to evaluate smoke exposure during the school age years of the child. The smoking behavior of the offspring was then assessed at ages 16 and 22 years.
The researchers found that maternal smoking during pregnancy and the early childhood years was associated with the offspring being regular smokers at the age of 22, independent of whether the mother smoked during the school age years of the child. Furthermore, of all of the offspring who had ever smoked, offspring of mothers who smoked during pregnancy and early life were less likely to quit than those of mothers who had never smoked or who had taken up the habit only when the child reaches the school age years. Finally, the impact of early maternal smoking was independent of the effect of paternal smoking and also the effect of exposure to peer smoking during the offspring's adolescence. The greatest impact on the smoking behavior of the offspring as young adults was linked to .
"Smoking during pregnancy by mothers who stopped smoking by the time the child reached the school age years is a risk factor for smoking in their offspring during early adulthood," said Dr. Grad. "The data suggest that a biological effect is in play, and that eliminating maternal smoking during pregnancy and the preschool years of the child will reduce the risk of her children becoming regular smokers in adulthood. In children of mothers who did smoke during this critical period, it is important to prevent experimentation with tobacco during the adolescent years."
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
OC Register Article about birth
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
How do you want to deliver?
Women need to do their homework on birthing options available today.
For The Orange County Register
So, you're pregnant. Congratulations! Now comes the interesting part: How do you want to deliver?
Denise Spatafora, a life coach in New York, has written "Better Birth, The Ultimate Guide to Childbirth from Home Births to Hospitals" to help moms-to-be make the best choice for themselves.
Local professionals also have advice to offer about the options women have.
We spoke with Dr. David Lagrew, medical director of Women's Hospital at Saddleback Memorial Medical Center in Laguna Hills; Lorri Walker, a midwife at South Coast Midwifery and Women's Health Care in Irvine; and BJ Snell of the Community Alliance for Birth Options in Laguna Hills.
All agree that for starters, women should thoroughly educate themselves about what pregnancy is and what kind of birth would give them the best possible emotional, mental, physical and spiritually rich experience – even if something out of the ordinary happens and they have to change delivery types at the last moment.
"Too much of the time the unknown of the birth process creates fear for women," Spatafora said. "That was my main goal, to give women the tools to educate themselves and give them all they needed to make choices that would give them the ultimate birthing experience."
She's had clients who intended to have a home birth with a midwife, but had to change their focus to a hospital-based delivery because something during their pregnancy made home delivery an unsafe option.
"This doesn't mean that they can't have the same wonderfully memorable, fear-free experience," Spatafora said. "This just means that they have to become OK with the new and needed option, learn all they can about the procedure and realize that it will still be an intimate event."
Spatafora gave birth to her two children at home in water, with a midwife.
"That was my way and it worked out. For someone else, the best way might be in a hospital setting, or a birthing suite at a birthing center."
Lagrew says the family birthing suites at Women's Hospital at Saddleback Memorial can offer the best of both possible worlds.
"While many are encouraging home births, we feel that the center can give the mom and partner the same experience, but in a safe setting," he said. "Should the need arise, immediate intervention is available."
The hospital encourages the use of a Jacuzzi, but not water births, he said.
"We have education classes for the basics, for high-risk pregnancies, VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section), post-partum and daddy boot camp. We also have birthing beds, rocking chairs and music. Our policy is that if the request is safe and a comfort to the mom, we will provide it."
Both Lorri Walker and BJ Snell said that options in Orange County – and at hospitals in particular – are limited. Most hospitals don't allow midwives access, they said. Walker and Snell both see a sharp rise in the county for out-of-hospital births.
Giving birth, Walker said, is "a natural function that women need to gain control of by making it a more 'green' experience, educating themselves in a way that fits their lifestyle, gives them control and makes the event quite intimate."
Birthing centers give women lots of freedom, Snell added: "They can have family and friends in if they wish. We don't use IV's – the moms are able to walk, eat, drink. We don't readily use episiotomies."
Walker and Snell both agreed that birthing centers are not for all women. If a woman is having a high-risk pregnancy for any reason, she needs to use the traditional hospital setting, they said.
Women do need someone to be their guide, and for most that means a doctor.
Monday, May 18, 2009
A new way to battle the blues
What are the “baby blues?”
Over 80% of new mothers suffer from mood instability starting in the first week after giving birth. Dubbed the "baby blues", it is considered a normal part of birth recovery. Symptoms of the baby blues include weepiness, sadness and anxiety, and these negative emotions can last for the first several weeks of the new baby's life. Since the hormonal fluctuations at the root of the issue eventually regulate themselves, no treatment is given. Women are left to cope on their own, losing the first precious weeks with their newborn baby to an emotional rollercoaster and exhaustion.
A different postpartum experience
Birth recovery does not have to be so difficult. Nature has provided you with all you need to restore what is lost during pregnancy and birth. Your placenta! The placenta contains a woman's own natural hormones, as well as iron, protein and other nutrients, providing the means to replenish and nourish her body.
This may sound like a new concept; however the placenta has been used in Traditional Chinese Medicine for centuries to treat lactation and fatigue. Other cultures also honor the placenta and recognize it as being something sacred. Many Native American tribes bury the placenta to bind the child with its native land. The Ibo of Nigeria and Ghana consider the placenta to be the baby's twin. Aymara and Quecha peoples of Bolivia say that the placenta has its own spirit. Malaysians consider the placenta to be the older sibling to the child. When the baby smiles unexpectedly, it is said that he is playing with his brother.
I know what you are thinking though,
“That’s great for them, but how is it going to help me beat the after baby blues?”
First, try not to get stuck on the “ew factor” that a lot of people have; there is a way of receiving all of the placentas many benefits, without ever having to see or touch the placenta itself, through place
nta capsules (prepared by an encapsulation specialist).
I am a Placenta Encapsulation Specialist (trained through PlacentaBenefits.info), which means I am trained to put your placenta in capsule form for you, in the privacy of your own home. The encapsulation process closely follows the Traditional Chinese Medicine method of draining (taking out most of the blood), steaming and dehydrating the placenta in preparation for the encapsulation process. Once the capsules are ready, mom is presented with a beautiful blue bottle full of capsules that can help make her transition to motherhood a smoother one.
For those that are still getting stuck on the “ew factor”, let me assure you again that you never have to see anything during the encapsulation process and your home is left just as clean, if not cleaner, than when I got there. Every mother that I have helped has said the benefits they have experienced through ingesting the placenta capsules far outweigh any uneasiness they may have felt about the process beforehand.
Placenta encapsulation is a universal option that resonates with women all over the world. Since launching PlacentaBenefits.info, Jodi Selander has been contacted by women from the United States, Canada, Britain, New Zealand, Australia, Malaysia, Germany, China, Singapore and elsewhere, enthusiastic about the wellness provided within the placenta. There are already around 40 Placenta Encapsulation Specialists in the US and several more in training, so women everywhere can reap the rewards their placenta provides.
Women undergo a huge transition after having a baby, and the massive hormonal and emotional fluctuations are just the tip of the iceberg. They are looking for a natural, healthy and practical way to have the best postpartum experience possible. Nature has provided a simple means to make the transition to motherhood easier for women and more peaceful for the entire family. The old adage holds true – if Mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy.
Over 80% of new mothers suffer from mood instability starting in the first week after giving birth. Dubbed the "baby blues", it is considered a normal part of birth recovery. Symptoms of the baby blues include weepiness, sadness and anxiety, and these negative emotions can last for the first several weeks of the new baby's life. Since the hormonal fluctuations at the root of the issue eventually regulate themselves, no treatment is given. Women are left to cope on their own, losing the first precious weeks with their newborn baby to an emotional rollercoaster and exhaustion.
A different postpartum experience
Birth recovery does not have to be so difficult. Nature has provided you with all you need to restore what is lost during pregnancy and birth. Your placenta! The placenta contains a woman's own natural hormones, as well as iron, protein and other nutrients, providing the means to replenish and nourish her body.
This may sound like a new concept; however the placenta has been used in Traditional Chinese Medicine for centuries to treat lactation and fatigue. Other cultures also honor the placenta and recognize it as being something sacred. Many Native American tribes bury the placenta to bind the child with its native land. The Ibo of Nigeria and Ghana consider the placenta to be the baby's twin. Aymara and Quecha peoples of Bolivia say that the placenta has its own spirit. Malaysians consider the placenta to be the older sibling to the child. When the baby smiles unexpectedly, it is said that he is playing with his brother.
I know what you are thinking though,
“That’s great for them, but how is it going to help me beat the after baby blues?”
First, try not to get stuck on the “ew factor” that a lot of people have; there is a way of receiving all of the placentas many benefits, without ever having to see or touch the placenta itself, through place
nta capsules (prepared by an encapsulation specialist).I am a Placenta Encapsulation Specialist (trained through PlacentaBenefits.info), which means I am trained to put your placenta in capsule form for you, in the privacy of your own home. The encapsulation process closely follows the Traditional Chinese Medicine method of draining (taking out most of the blood), steaming and dehydrating the placenta in preparation for the encapsulation process. Once the capsules are ready, mom is presented with a beautiful blue bottle full of capsules that can help make her transition to motherhood a smoother one.
For those that are still getting stuck on the “ew factor”, let me assure you again that you never have to see anything during the encapsulation process and your home is left just as clean, if not cleaner, than when I got there. Every mother that I have helped has said the benefits they have experienced through ingesting the placenta capsules far outweigh any uneasiness they may have felt about the process beforehand.
Placenta encapsulation is a universal option that resonates with women all over the world. Since launching PlacentaBenefits.info, Jodi Selander has been contacted by women from the United States, Canada, Britain, New Zealand, Australia, Malaysia, Germany, China, Singapore and elsewhere, enthusiastic about the wellness provided within the placenta. There are already around 40 Placenta Encapsulation Specialists in the US and several more in training, so women everywhere can reap the rewards their placenta provides.
Women undergo a huge transition after having a baby, and the massive hormonal and emotional fluctuations are just the tip of the iceberg. They are looking for a natural, healthy and practical way to have the best postpartum experience possible. Nature has provided a simple means to make the transition to motherhood easier for women and more peaceful for the entire family. The old adage holds true – if Mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy.
Introduction
My name is April, I am Momma to Ella who is 9 and Apollo who is 2 1/2 months. I have a company, Confident Beginnings which specializes in making the transition to parenthood as smooth as possible.
I teach childbirth, breastfeeding and baby care classes, provide lactation consultant services, placenta encapsulation, and pregnancy concierge services.
I'm new to the blogging world, (a bit late, I know), but hope to share insights and articles to empower women and their families!
I teach childbirth, breastfeeding and baby care classes, provide lactation consultant services, placenta encapsulation, and pregnancy concierge services.
I'm new to the blogging world, (a bit late, I know), but hope to share insights and articles to empower women and their families!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Remembering the Pearls of Mothering Advice
As a new or expecting mom, it seems you are open to a lot of unwanted and un-asked-for advice. It's easy to feel overwhelmed by it all. It's hard to sift through it and figure out what to listen to and what to toss. Sometimes we even feel resentful when we heed someone's advice and find that it really doesn't work for us. And often, the well-meant tips and suggestions leave us feeling judged and inadequate. But sometimes, we stumble on some great wisdom and we're grateful that someone shared it with us.Sunday was my 4th Mother’s Day and in that short time (oh but it seemed long, didn't it?) I am amazed how often I've completely changed my mind about parenting specifics. As I look back, I begin to see that my parenting boils down to a few generalities and otherwise, there is a lot of room for improvisation. Always. There isn't a lot of advice that remained constant through it all. Yet, if I had to pinpoint three things that I’m glad someone told me as a new mom they would be:
Sleeping
Whether you co-sleep or use a crib in another room, whether you parent to sleep or teach baby to self soothe, whether you believe in schedules or flexibility, it is helpful to know this:
Little babies can only be up for about two hours before they are tired again. Knowing this can make all the difference in how your days unfold. Knowing this can soften sleep struggles. Take note of when they get up and watch them after about two hours. It’s easier to put a sleepy baby to bed than to fight a baby who is either over-tired or not tired at all.
Eating
If you can, breastfeed. It’s the best choice for mom and baby. There are health benefits for both of you. But more importantly, it’s not just a way of feeding baby. It’s a beautiful relationship. It’s not always easy and there are definitely areas where support could be improved from community, employers, governments and often, families and friends. But it’s worth it. If you are struggling, find help from La Leche League, Dr. Jack Newman, Kellymom, a lactation consultant or public health nurse. You’ll be glad you did.
Parenting
Do What Works. I learned this from my older sister, mother of four. This means do what works for your family. Trust your gut and if something is working for you, keep doing it. Don’t worry about what other people or experts think you should be doing. Just do what works. And be ready to change your methods because what works today might not work tomorrow. What works for this child might not work for the next one. Parenthood is an ever changing evolving practice. It will take lots of rearranging to strike a balance between what works for your kids and what works for you but if you keep at it, you can’t go wrong.
How about you? What pearls of wisdom were you grateful for as a new mother?
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
International Day of the Midwife
Today is International Day of the Midwife. This special occasion is near and dear to my heart. Both of my children were born with the help of midwives and I have spent the last 3 years spreading the word about how wonderful they are.
I exhibited at the 2007 Canadian Association of Midwifery conference in Vancouver. The conference was held in Vancouver that year to also celebrate the 10th anniversary of the legalisation of midwifery in BC. At the conference, I bought a t-shirt that quickly became my favourite (coincidentally, I was even wearing it when I went into labour with my daughter last year) because of the colour, the fabric (organic cotton) and the message - 10 years of Registered Midwives. When I wear this t-shirt I often get asked if I am a midwife (sadly, the answer is no) and I always reply, "No. I just really like midwives!"
Most of my friends have also had the opportunity to experience midwifery care so I occasionally get the mistaken impression that it's more widespread than it is. Ann Douglas recently shared some of the results of the Canadian Maternity Experiences Survey and I was shocked to discover that only 6.1% of births are attended by midwives.
I was well aware that though Vancouver struggles with a shortage of midwives I was lucky to live there because other communities have no midwives at all. I fervently believe that we need more midwives. Even so, I didn't realise the numbers were as low as they are.
The theme for this year's International Day of the Midwife is The World Needs Midwives Now More Than Ever and you can read some info about this from a global perspective at the International Confederation of Midwives website.
What does the picture look like in Canada?
Midwifery is legal and government funded in the Western provinces and Ontario and Quebec. However, the territories and Maritime provinces are still struggling to have midwifery recognized and paid for through the healthcare system.
Source: Today's Parent, March 2009
Some good news:
Despite government regulation since 1998, Alberta just agreed to publicly fund midwifery. The deal was finalized in early April of this year.
Nova Scotia has also proclaimed the Act Respecting Midwifery but have limited coverage to only a few districts within the province.
Some bad news:
The shortage of midwives is quite real and according to this recent Maclean's article on the Midwife Crisis, it is just a part of a larger crisis within maternity care in Canada. The article's byline goes so far as to say that "it's a bad time to have a baby in Canada."
And in Ottawa, despite the fact that Ontario is one of the provinces that recognizes and funds midwifery care, there's been a major step backward - the Ottawa Hospital has closed its doors to midwives.
What Can You Do To Support Midwifery in Canada?
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
I exhibited at the 2007 Canadian Association of Midwifery conference in Vancouver. The conference was held in Vancouver that year to also celebrate the 10th anniversary of the legalisation of midwifery in BC. At the conference, I bought a t-shirt that quickly became my favourite (coincidentally, I was even wearing it when I went into labour with my daughter last year) because of the colour, the fabric (organic cotton) and the message - 10 years of Registered Midwives. When I wear this t-shirt I often get asked if I am a midwife (sadly, the answer is no) and I always reply, "No. I just really like midwives!"
Most of my friends have also had the opportunity to experience midwifery care so I occasionally get the mistaken impression that it's more widespread than it is. Ann Douglas recently shared some of the results of the Canadian Maternity Experiences Survey and I was shocked to discover that only 6.1% of births are attended by midwives.
I was well aware that though Vancouver struggles with a shortage of midwives I was lucky to live there because other communities have no midwives at all. I fervently believe that we need more midwives. Even so, I didn't realise the numbers were as low as they are.
The theme for this year's International Day of the Midwife is The World Needs Midwives Now More Than Ever and you can read some info about this from a global perspective at the International Confederation of Midwives website.
What does the picture look like in Canada?
Midwifery is legal and government funded in the Western provinces and Ontario and Quebec. However, the territories and Maritime provinces are still struggling to have midwifery recognized and paid for through the healthcare system.
| Province | Regulated | Provincially funded | Practising midwives | Link |
| British Columbia | yes | yes | 120 | bcmidwives.com |
| Alberta | yes | in process* | 30 | albertamidwives.com |
| Saskatchewan | yes | yes | 5 | saskatchewanmidwives.com |
| Manitoba | yes | yes | 40 | midwives.mb.ca |
| Quebec | yes | yes | 100 | canadianmidwives.org |
| Ontario | yes | yes | 450 | aom.on.ca |
| New Brunswick | in process | no | 1 | canadianmidwives.org |
| Nova Scotia | in process* | no | 7 | canadianmidwives.org |
| PEI | no | no | 1 | canadianmidwives.org |
| Newfoundland and Labrador | no | no | n/a | canadianmidwives.org |
| Yukon | no | no | 1 | canadianmidwives.org |
| Northwest Territories | yes | yes | 3 | canadianmidwives.org |
| Nunavut | in process | partial funding | 3 | canadianmidwives.org |
Some good news:
Despite government regulation since 1998, Alberta just agreed to publicly fund midwifery. The deal was finalized in early April of this year.
Nova Scotia has also proclaimed the Act Respecting Midwifery but have limited coverage to only a few districts within the province.
Some bad news:
The shortage of midwives is quite real and according to this recent Maclean's article on the Midwife Crisis, it is just a part of a larger crisis within maternity care in Canada. The article's byline goes so far as to say that "it's a bad time to have a baby in Canada."
And in Ottawa, despite the fact that Ontario is one of the provinces that recognizes and funds midwifery care, there's been a major step backward - the Ottawa Hospital has closed its doors to midwives.
What Can You Do To Support Midwifery in Canada?
- Spread the word—tell your friends, family, co-workers about midwifery
- Share positive stories about midwives, doulas and birth
- Donate to your local midwifery association
- Join an advocacy group:
- Midwifery Coalition of Nova Scotia
- BORN PEI
- Yukoners for Funded Midwifery
- Learn more about midwifery in our northern communities - Inuit Midwifery Network
- Association for Safe Alternatives in Childbirth
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Creating Community at Home and in School
Healthy Families Conference Announcement
Vancouver, BC – On April 18-19, 2009 educators and parents from across the Pacific Northwest will gather to participate in an event designed to inspire, support, and connect the amazing individuals who contribute to building community for our children at home and in school.Conference visionary Margo Running, of LifeWays Childcare Society, is launching this new conference in Vancouver because she hears educators and parents asking the same questions: “How do we simplify, slow down in order to give quality time to our children, in our home, in our care and in our school? How do we create a community around our children?” Margo says this two-day conference is packed with presentations, breakout sessions, workshops, discussion groups, and meals that will create a collaborative and participatory setting; each participant will gain a toolkit of resources and contacts.
The Healthy Families Conference is aiming to provide individuals with the skills and strategies they need to nurture strong relationships within their families and create strong ties for children within their community and is the first of its kind in Vancouver.
This conference has attracted some of the biggest names in parenting and early-childhood development. Peggy O'Mara (Editor/Owner of Mothering Magazine - Santa Fe, New Mexico) jumped at the chance to come to Vancouver for the opportunity to connect with this diverse audience of parents and educators; Peggy will be speaking on Finding & Creating Community.
Event Details – Healthy Families Canada is hosting the conference at the UBC Student Union Building (6138 Student Union Boulevard) on April 18-19, 2009. Registration is available online at www.healthyfamiliescanada.org and individuals can register at the early-bird rate of just $200 prior to March 15, 2009 (group discounts are also available). Questions about the conference can be sent to info@healthyfamiliescanada.org.
Media Contact – If you are a member of the media and would like to learn more about emerging stories regarding the Healthy Families Conference or would like to interview Margo Running or Peggy O’Mara please contact Corwin Hiebert by phone at 604-803-2019 or by e-mail at: corwin@redwagonmanagement.com.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Breastfeeding Furor Post Script
The furor continues after The Atlantic published Hanna Rosin's op. ed. The Case Against Breast-feeding this month.
Some of the latest news:
MSNBC picked up the article to spread it further into the mainstream consciousness. At the end of article there's an option to discuss it on Newsvine. Have a look at the comments. Many thank yous from women who themselves couldn't or didn't want to breastfeed. All these women who did not or could not breastfeed applaud The Case Against Breastfeeding because it makes breastfeeding the villain and assuages their own guilty consciences.
Brings me to the point Dr. Newman makes about guilt and breastfeeding. He says "In order to prevent women feeling guilty about not breastfeeding what is required is not avoiding promotion of breastfeeding, but promotion of breastfeeding coupled with good, knowledgeable and skillful support."
Once again, we have to remember that difficulties breastfeeding are not because breastfeeding is the problem; it is usually because mothers are not getting the support they need from spouse or family, the work place, the community, health care practitioners, the government...the list goes on.
Of course, The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine issued a statement this week in rebuttal. You can read it here.
Here also is the response from the American Academy of Pediatrics:
Thank you to Tanya Lieberman at Motherwear's Breastfeeding Blog for posting that. Her response is also well worth a read as she tackles some of the scientific claims.
And here is a joint letter to the editor of The Atlantic from the United States Breastfeeding Commitee.
I'm interested to see a round up of the blog posts and articles that address Rosin's science. I think there should be something forthcoming from Phd In Parenting who also put together a collection of the voices who responded to the feminist issues in the original article. Thank you to Annie for including us in such great company.
And just for fun, Hathor the Cow Goddess's take on it all.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Some of the latest news:
MSNBC picked up the article to spread it further into the mainstream consciousness. At the end of article there's an option to discuss it on Newsvine. Have a look at the comments. Many thank yous from women who themselves couldn't or didn't want to breastfeed. All these women who did not or could not breastfeed applaud The Case Against Breastfeeding because it makes breastfeeding the villain and assuages their own guilty consciences.
Brings me to the point Dr. Newman makes about guilt and breastfeeding. He says "In order to prevent women feeling guilty about not breastfeeding what is required is not avoiding promotion of breastfeeding, but promotion of breastfeeding coupled with good, knowledgeable and skillful support."
Once again, we have to remember that difficulties breastfeeding are not because breastfeeding is the problem; it is usually because mothers are not getting the support they need from spouse or family, the work place, the community, health care practitioners, the government...the list goes on.
Of course, The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine issued a statement this week in rebuttal. You can read it here.
Here also is the response from the American Academy of Pediatrics:
In the article, "The Case Against Breast-Feeding" by Hanna Rosin, the author skims the literature and has omitted many recent statements including the 2005 statement of the American Academy of Pediatrics which supports the value of breastfeeding for most infants.
This policy references every statement with scientific evidence from over 200 articles which meet scientific standards for accuracy and rigor. The statement was meticulously reviewed by the Section on Breastfeeding, the Committee on Nutrition and numerous other committees and approved by the Board of Directors of the Academy. Breastfeeding and Maternal and Infant Health Outcomes in Developed Countries, a study released by the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (the AHRQ Report) strongly supports the evidence of benefits demonstrated in the breastfeeding research.
The evidence for the value of breastfeeding is scientific, it is strong, and it is continually being reaffirmed by new research work.
The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages women to make an informed decision about feeding their infants based on scientifically established information from credible resources.
David T. Tayloe, Jr., MD, FAAP
President, American Academy of Pediatrics
Thank you to Tanya Lieberman at Motherwear's Breastfeeding Blog for posting that. Her response is also well worth a read as she tackles some of the scientific claims.
And here is a joint letter to the editor of The Atlantic from the United States Breastfeeding Commitee.
I'm interested to see a round up of the blog posts and articles that address Rosin's science. I think there should be something forthcoming from Phd In Parenting who also put together a collection of the voices who responded to the feminist issues in the original article. Thank you to Annie for including us in such great company.
And just for fun, Hathor the Cow Goddess's take on it all.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
The Case Against Doing It All
I don’t consider myself a lactavist. I didn’t call the CBC when I was asked to move into a change room at Superstore while nursing my daughter. I have not been to a nurse-in. I have never smuggled breastmilk onto a plane.
I do think that breastfeeding is a normal natural beautiful act. I breastfeed my daughter anywhere I choose. I don’t let people’s opinions or rude looks stop me. I will breastfeed in a restaurant. At my table. Without a cover. I exclusively breastfed both of my children to 6 months. I continued with my son until he was 2.5 years old and probably will with my daughter as well. I fervently believe that it is the best and in most cases should be the ONLY choice for feeding our children.
Why?
Because I distrust processed food. Because just like I prefer to make my own food from scratch as much as I can, I also prefer to give my babies the food that is specially made for them. I believe that if my body is making it for my baby, it’s obviously the best thing to give her. I trust this million year old evolutionary biological process way more than I trust Nestlé. Because I am amazed that the composition of breastmilk changes depending on the time of day and depending on if my baby is a preemie or a toddler. Because I’ve seen the list of ingredients of breastmilk and I’ve heard that they don’t even know what it’s all for or how to replicate it in formula. Because I believe that there is a purpose for all of those ingredients even if science and medicine hasn’t been able to figure it out yet. Because I don’t doubt that they would find a link between every single one of the components of breastmilk and better human functioning in some area (physical, cognitive, emotional) if it were ethically and humanly possible to do so. Because I believe that the act of breastfeeding is about so much more than food.
So it was with utter dismay that I read Hanna Rosin’s recent article for The Atlantic, The Case Against Breast-feeding. The article is so ridiculous and odious that my husband even suggested that it may be a farce, another attempt by the author to have a little game with us, just like she did on the playground. Farce or not, I couldn’t remain quiet.
I have to warn you that I won’t even have a chance to tackle Rosin’s research and studies because I have so much to say about her attitude. And to be honest, I don’t give a damn about the studies she quoted. Personally, I think that science has a long way to go in explaining most human functions from breastmilk to the brain. Inconclusive studies about the power of breastmilk are not going to convince me that evolution was flawed when it came up with mammals.
The tone of The Case Against Breast-feeding is sarcastic, resentful and bitter and I can’t help but wonder why Rosin is so unhappy. She writes about how it is “hard not to seethe” as she breastfeeds her new baby while her husband sleeps, about being “unreasonably furious” at her husband as he leaves her “stuck at home breast-feeding.” She writes about what the What to Expect authors can expect her to do “with this damned fork” (Ok, fair enough, I can’t stand the What to Expect books either) and about wanting to “hit {people} with a two-by-four.” Wow. Really? Why are you so angry Hanna?
When I start to dissect her article, it really doesn’t seem that breastfeeding is the issue. To me her article reads like the whiney self-pitying diatribe of a woman who is unhappy in her marriage, has few real friends, is not supported to breastfeed by her mother, dislikes all the women on the playground and resents her children for interrupting her career and her life. Okay, so now I have to take back the whiney and self-pitying part because wow, that really does sound sad and my heart goes out to such a woman. To be fair to Rosin I have experienced episodes of the rage, loneliness, “crying jags” and cursing at husbands that she writes about but I realise that those times don’t sum up my breastfeeding experience. I really don’t understand how breastfeeding became the scapegoat in this story and I struggle to forgive someone who can damage years and years of work in public health trying to raise breastfeeding rates just because she is unhappy with her life.
Acceptance
The whole article begins with the way Rosin felt at the playground. She witnessed firsthand how judgmental her so-called friends and fellow moms on the playground could be. Of course, she is busy judging right back. She tries to be funny as she describes the “urban moms in their tight jeans and oversize sunglasses” and ridicules their “signifiers” (“organic content of snacks, sleekness of stroller and ratio of wooden toys to plastic”) but she comes off just as awful as she tries to portray them. She talks about her “mother friends” in a way that doesn’t sound like they are her friends at all.
Mothering criticism is definitely running rampant these days; Rosin is right to bring it up. Lord knows I’ve felt it. And stooped to it. We all need to work a little harder to accept each other. That’s a post on its own right there. Yes, moms need to cut each other some slack but that doesn’t amount to a case against breastfeeding (even if it is the major point we judge each other on—“the real ticket into the club” as Rosin puts it).
Breastfeeding Rates
Rosin goes on to wonder why every woman she knows “has become a breast-feeding fascist.” Apparently Rosin only associates with a very slim percentage of the population if every woman she knows is a breastfeeding fascist. In the US, only 17 percent of babies are still breastfed at 6 months. Rosin quotes the breastfeeding rates in the States triumphantly: “breast-feeding is on the rise—69 percent of mothers initiate the practice at the hospital, and 17 percent nurse exclusively for at least 6 months”—as if to say “How much higher can they really go?” I personally find these numbers shockingly low, especially when you consider that those women who initiate the practice in the hospital may not even stick it out past a week or two.
Meanwhile, 83 percent of mothers are NOT breastfeeding for 6 months. These are the women that the Department of Health and Human Services are trying to target with the ad campaigns that Rosin hates so much that she would wean her child out of spite. The tv ads may be tacky and the print ads may be extreme but they are up against big bucks formula companies (with marketing dollars and Washington lobbyists). Ms.Rosin, they are also up against people like you who do so much damage by suggesting that breastfeeding is holding women back from all the things they want to be doing. The ads are a desperate bid to squeak that 17 percent just a little higher.
Rosin herself explains that “the numbers are much higher among women who are white, older, and educated.” Exactly. Like the women Rosin describes in her “playground set” with their “Baby Einstein videos, piano lessons and the rest.” I would wager that the other 83 percent of the population who give up on breastfeeding after initiating it includes all the women who are working because they have to, not because they have a feminist axe to grind.
Class Struggles
Rosin explains that formula was demonized in the 70’s because South American and African studies showed that formula fed babies were more likely to die. “The mothers, it turned out, were using contaminated water or rationing formula because it was so expensive. Still, in the US, the whole episode turned breast-feeding advocates and formula makers into Crips and Bloods,” she says. Oh, I see. It wasn’t really the formula’s fault. It was the mothers. For being poor. For using dirty water. And besides, it isn’t relevant because it wasn’t in the US. As long as you can afford it and have access to clean water, formula isn’t a bad thing—is that what Rosin is saying? That sounds a little elitist coming from the same woman who (rightfully) derides breastfeeding campaigns that encourage working mothers to pump at work for being unrealistic for the lower classes (waitresses and bus drivers).
And her point about wanting to hit people who say that breastfeeding is free with a two-by-four because that means a woman’s time is worth nothing? Well, for the working poor, a woman’s time is only worth $6.55 an hour (US federal minimum wage – 28 states have minimum wage that are either the same or less than the federal rate). If she buys the cheapest formula at Walgreen’s, it is $9.99 for 105 fl. oz. and her three month old baby will go through it in 4-6 days. So on top of the time it takes to feed her baby she is spending almost 2 hours every week working just to buy the formula. And that doesn’t even get into the number of hours she has to work to pay for her childcare.
Of course, Rosin who talks about launching Web sites, answering cell phones, the luxury of working part time from home, and even having a husband to curse at over division of labour is coming at the whole article from the perspective of the privileged. As she herself says, she is “too privileged for pity” so how does she know the real cost of formula?
Working Moms
Rosin doesn’t even question whether or not the same mother who can’t pump at her waitressing job can even afford to buy formula. Rosin focuses all her anger on breastfeeding and the people that she feels are pushing it down our throats. She brings up the American Academy of Pediatrics’ 1997 policy recommending that babies be breastfed to 1 year (still only half of what is recommended by the WHO) and explains that the National Organization for Women “complained that this would tax working mothers, but to no avail.” The real question is not what a woman’s time is worth (and whether she should spend it nursing her baby) but rather, why are so many new mothers working?
Rosin implies that public health officials should have tempered their child health policies to make it easier on working mothers. I would like to suggest that the problem in the United States is actually that the lack of solid maternity leave is taxing breastfeeding mothers. It certainly is difficult to breastfeed your baby to 6 months or a year when your country’s maternity leave would have you back at work when your baby is 12 weeks old (if you can even afford to take those 12 weeks off unpaid).
Support
Of course, a good maternity leave is only one aspect of the broader issue which is the need for support. Rosin herself appears to feel alienated and unsupported in her attempt to breastfeed. “Being stuck at home breast-feeding as he walked out the door for work just made me unreasonably furious, at him and everyone else,” she says. “So I was left feeling trapped,” she says. She likens her life to a prison. Her mother pesters her about whether her breastfed children are getting enough to eat. She is obviously uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public: “There I was, sitting half-naked in public for the tenth time that day, the hundredth time that month, the millionth time in my life.”
Doesn’t she realize that all the books, lactation consultants, support groups, public health campaigns, and legislation that she is tearing down with her sarcastic and mean words all exist to try to help the women who feel alienated and unsupported? All these people are working so hard to try to make the general public understand that breastfeeding moms have a huge job that is hard and often lonely, that breastfeeding in public is acceptable, that no one should have to stay home and breastfeed all the time, that mothers need help with the hours of breastfeeding they put in. They are trying to make these women feel supported. And they don’t expect you to stay away from your mother. They just want her to realise that her comments don’t help.
Feminism
But for Rosin anyway it sounds like the problem isn’t one of lack of support, but rather of feminist discontent. Her angry ranting unfortunately discloses way too much about her own feelings about children and her husband for my comfort level and tells me in no uncertain terms that she resents breastfeeding (and by extension, her children) for the inequalities in her marriage and for her inability to focus on her career.
“But fear not, You,” she says, “The root of the problem is not the sudden realization that your ideal of an equal marriage, with two parents happily taking turns working and raising children, now seem like a farce.” Who is this You she is talking to? It feels like maybe this is her own issue, especially when you see how often it comes up. I already mentioned how she seethed at her husband in the night, how furious she was that he got to go to work. She goes on to say that she “was raised to expect that co-parenting was an attainable goal. But who were we kidding?” Okay, so she resents the fact that her feminist ideals of marriage are perhaps unrealistic? Fair enough.
But listen to the way she talks about raising children:
She uses words like grate, prison, trapped, germy brats, slapping and barking to describe raising children. She talks about 28 months and counting of breastfeeding. Maybe she should stop counting and try to enjoy it. She says that by her third child, she is not staring lovingly into the baby’s eyes. Maybe she should have stopped at two children then.
Rosin closes her article with a most jarring tribute to breastfeeding after more than 5000 words in her case against it. She says “breast-feeding does not belong in the realm of facts and hard numbers; it is much too intimate and elemental. It contains all of my awe about motherhood” and yet that is the only indication in the whole article of any kind of enjoyment, let alone awe of motherhood. The only positive thing she says about breastfeeding or her children is the last sentence: “But I also know that this is probably my last chance to feel warm baby skin up against mine, and one day I will miss it.”
She spends the rest of her article comparing breastfeeding to the vacuum in keeping women downtrodden, lamenting that there aren’t more women in “positions of serious power,” complaining about pumping at work as a newspaper reporter, and as mentioned above breastfeeding while answering the cell phone and launching a new Web site while caring for two children and a nursing baby. Hmmm. Maybe the problem isn’t breastfeeding but thinking we can have it all? Maybe it’s this unrealistic feminist ideal that is the problem. Maybe Rosin is upset because she is realizing that we can’t have it all, that we do have to make choices and sacrifices.
Rosin’s feminist rhetoric fumes about a woman’s time being worth nothing and yet it is the feminists themselves who decided that the work of mothers was not valuable, the ones who said that we should all want to get out and work with the men.
Personally I think it’s time for a new brand of feminism, a feminism that says that the most amazing work a woman can possibly do is to bear, nurse and raise her babies, a brand of feminism that says that if you want to work outside the home you can but you might have to make some tough choices, a brand of feminism that says a woman’s time IS worth something and a mother’s time is invaluable. I think feminism has done us a major disservice by saying that we should be able to work AND raise kids AND have time for ourselves. The simple biological truth is that child bearing and nursing must fall to women so now with our quest for workplace power we have the pressure to do everything. No wonder we are tired and stressed out and alienated. No wonder Rosin resents breastfeeding. Because the reality is that breastfeeding and motherhood (at least while our children are young) are pretty much a full-time job. It’s hard bloody work and yes, it’s really frustrating to do all that while holding down an outside job too.
Let me be clear here. I am NOT saying that mothers shouldn't work. I am saying that the demands on today's mothers are unfair; the bar has been set too high. My own feeling is that breastfeeding shouldn't really be a choice. That is, as much as possible, with a huge margin for medical difficulties and other issues like lack of support, breastfeeding should be one of those things that is a given for parents - just like providing shelter, food, love and schooling as our children grow. Because pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding fall to the females, there will undoubtedly be times in a woman's life where she has to choose between working and mothering. The first year after the birth of a baby is one of those times. If maternity leaves allowed mothers to stay home and focus on their babies while they need to be breastfed, women might find it easier to balance work life and family life. The problem is not breastfeeding. The problem is the lack of programs and support for women who want to prioritize breastfeeding. The problem is the expectation that no one should have to make those choices, that women should do everything.
Rosin needs to look in the mirror and consider if it really is breastfeeding that she is so disenchanted with. The illusion of co-parenting is not shattered by breastfeeding. The illusion crumbles because the expectations on women are unrealistic and unfair. As Rosin’s life became more complex breastfeeding seemed to her an unbearable burden but she never stops to ask why she took on so much. In The Case Against Breast-feeding, breastfeeding became the unfortunate scapegoat in our society’s quest to have it all.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
I do think that breastfeeding is a normal natural beautiful act. I breastfeed my daughter anywhere I choose. I don’t let people’s opinions or rude looks stop me. I will breastfeed in a restaurant. At my table. Without a cover. I exclusively breastfed both of my children to 6 months. I continued with my son until he was 2.5 years old and probably will with my daughter as well. I fervently believe that it is the best and in most cases should be the ONLY choice for feeding our children.
Why?
Because I distrust processed food. Because just like I prefer to make my own food from scratch as much as I can, I also prefer to give my babies the food that is specially made for them. I believe that if my body is making it for my baby, it’s obviously the best thing to give her. I trust this million year old evolutionary biological process way more than I trust Nestlé. Because I am amazed that the composition of breastmilk changes depending on the time of day and depending on if my baby is a preemie or a toddler. Because I’ve seen the list of ingredients of breastmilk and I’ve heard that they don’t even know what it’s all for or how to replicate it in formula. Because I believe that there is a purpose for all of those ingredients even if science and medicine hasn’t been able to figure it out yet. Because I don’t doubt that they would find a link between every single one of the components of breastmilk and better human functioning in some area (physical, cognitive, emotional) if it were ethically and humanly possible to do so. Because I believe that the act of breastfeeding is about so much more than food.
So it was with utter dismay that I read Hanna Rosin’s recent article for The Atlantic, The Case Against Breast-feeding. The article is so ridiculous and odious that my husband even suggested that it may be a farce, another attempt by the author to have a little game with us, just like she did on the playground. Farce or not, I couldn’t remain quiet.
I have to warn you that I won’t even have a chance to tackle Rosin’s research and studies because I have so much to say about her attitude. And to be honest, I don’t give a damn about the studies she quoted. Personally, I think that science has a long way to go in explaining most human functions from breastmilk to the brain. Inconclusive studies about the power of breastmilk are not going to convince me that evolution was flawed when it came up with mammals.
The tone of The Case Against Breast-feeding is sarcastic, resentful and bitter and I can’t help but wonder why Rosin is so unhappy. She writes about how it is “hard not to seethe” as she breastfeeds her new baby while her husband sleeps, about being “unreasonably furious” at her husband as he leaves her “stuck at home breast-feeding.” She writes about what the What to Expect authors can expect her to do “with this damned fork” (Ok, fair enough, I can’t stand the What to Expect books either) and about wanting to “hit {people} with a two-by-four.” Wow. Really? Why are you so angry Hanna?
When I start to dissect her article, it really doesn’t seem that breastfeeding is the issue. To me her article reads like the whiney self-pitying diatribe of a woman who is unhappy in her marriage, has few real friends, is not supported to breastfeed by her mother, dislikes all the women on the playground and resents her children for interrupting her career and her life. Okay, so now I have to take back the whiney and self-pitying part because wow, that really does sound sad and my heart goes out to such a woman. To be fair to Rosin I have experienced episodes of the rage, loneliness, “crying jags” and cursing at husbands that she writes about but I realise that those times don’t sum up my breastfeeding experience. I really don’t understand how breastfeeding became the scapegoat in this story and I struggle to forgive someone who can damage years and years of work in public health trying to raise breastfeeding rates just because she is unhappy with her life.
Acceptance
The whole article begins with the way Rosin felt at the playground. She witnessed firsthand how judgmental her so-called friends and fellow moms on the playground could be. Of course, she is busy judging right back. She tries to be funny as she describes the “urban moms in their tight jeans and oversize sunglasses” and ridicules their “signifiers” (“organic content of snacks, sleekness of stroller and ratio of wooden toys to plastic”) but she comes off just as awful as she tries to portray them. She talks about her “mother friends” in a way that doesn’t sound like they are her friends at all.
Mothering criticism is definitely running rampant these days; Rosin is right to bring it up. Lord knows I’ve felt it. And stooped to it. We all need to work a little harder to accept each other. That’s a post on its own right there. Yes, moms need to cut each other some slack but that doesn’t amount to a case against breastfeeding (even if it is the major point we judge each other on—“the real ticket into the club” as Rosin puts it).
Breastfeeding Rates
Rosin goes on to wonder why every woman she knows “has become a breast-feeding fascist.” Apparently Rosin only associates with a very slim percentage of the population if every woman she knows is a breastfeeding fascist. In the US, only 17 percent of babies are still breastfed at 6 months. Rosin quotes the breastfeeding rates in the States triumphantly: “breast-feeding is on the rise—69 percent of mothers initiate the practice at the hospital, and 17 percent nurse exclusively for at least 6 months”—as if to say “How much higher can they really go?” I personally find these numbers shockingly low, especially when you consider that those women who initiate the practice in the hospital may not even stick it out past a week or two.
Meanwhile, 83 percent of mothers are NOT breastfeeding for 6 months. These are the women that the Department of Health and Human Services are trying to target with the ad campaigns that Rosin hates so much that she would wean her child out of spite. The tv ads may be tacky and the print ads may be extreme but they are up against big bucks formula companies (with marketing dollars and Washington lobbyists). Ms.Rosin, they are also up against people like you who do so much damage by suggesting that breastfeeding is holding women back from all the things they want to be doing. The ads are a desperate bid to squeak that 17 percent just a little higher.
Rosin herself explains that “the numbers are much higher among women who are white, older, and educated.” Exactly. Like the women Rosin describes in her “playground set” with their “Baby Einstein videos, piano lessons and the rest.” I would wager that the other 83 percent of the population who give up on breastfeeding after initiating it includes all the women who are working because they have to, not because they have a feminist axe to grind.
Class Struggles
Rosin explains that formula was demonized in the 70’s because South American and African studies showed that formula fed babies were more likely to die. “The mothers, it turned out, were using contaminated water or rationing formula because it was so expensive. Still, in the US, the whole episode turned breast-feeding advocates and formula makers into Crips and Bloods,” she says. Oh, I see. It wasn’t really the formula’s fault. It was the mothers. For being poor. For using dirty water. And besides, it isn’t relevant because it wasn’t in the US. As long as you can afford it and have access to clean water, formula isn’t a bad thing—is that what Rosin is saying? That sounds a little elitist coming from the same woman who (rightfully) derides breastfeeding campaigns that encourage working mothers to pump at work for being unrealistic for the lower classes (waitresses and bus drivers).
And her point about wanting to hit people who say that breastfeeding is free with a two-by-four because that means a woman’s time is worth nothing? Well, for the working poor, a woman’s time is only worth $6.55 an hour (US federal minimum wage – 28 states have minimum wage that are either the same or less than the federal rate). If she buys the cheapest formula at Walgreen’s, it is $9.99 for 105 fl. oz. and her three month old baby will go through it in 4-6 days. So on top of the time it takes to feed her baby she is spending almost 2 hours every week working just to buy the formula. And that doesn’t even get into the number of hours she has to work to pay for her childcare.
Of course, Rosin who talks about launching Web sites, answering cell phones, the luxury of working part time from home, and even having a husband to curse at over division of labour is coming at the whole article from the perspective of the privileged. As she herself says, she is “too privileged for pity” so how does she know the real cost of formula?
Working Moms
Rosin doesn’t even question whether or not the same mother who can’t pump at her waitressing job can even afford to buy formula. Rosin focuses all her anger on breastfeeding and the people that she feels are pushing it down our throats. She brings up the American Academy of Pediatrics’ 1997 policy recommending that babies be breastfed to 1 year (still only half of what is recommended by the WHO) and explains that the National Organization for Women “complained that this would tax working mothers, but to no avail.” The real question is not what a woman’s time is worth (and whether she should spend it nursing her baby) but rather, why are so many new mothers working?
Rosin implies that public health officials should have tempered their child health policies to make it easier on working mothers. I would like to suggest that the problem in the United States is actually that the lack of solid maternity leave is taxing breastfeeding mothers. It certainly is difficult to breastfeed your baby to 6 months or a year when your country’s maternity leave would have you back at work when your baby is 12 weeks old (if you can even afford to take those 12 weeks off unpaid).
Support
Of course, a good maternity leave is only one aspect of the broader issue which is the need for support. Rosin herself appears to feel alienated and unsupported in her attempt to breastfeed. “Being stuck at home breast-feeding as he walked out the door for work just made me unreasonably furious, at him and everyone else,” she says. “So I was left feeling trapped,” she says. She likens her life to a prison. Her mother pesters her about whether her breastfed children are getting enough to eat. She is obviously uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public: “There I was, sitting half-naked in public for the tenth time that day, the hundredth time that month, the millionth time in my life.”
Doesn’t she realize that all the books, lactation consultants, support groups, public health campaigns, and legislation that she is tearing down with her sarcastic and mean words all exist to try to help the women who feel alienated and unsupported? All these people are working so hard to try to make the general public understand that breastfeeding moms have a huge job that is hard and often lonely, that breastfeeding in public is acceptable, that no one should have to stay home and breastfeed all the time, that mothers need help with the hours of breastfeeding they put in. They are trying to make these women feel supported. And they don’t expect you to stay away from your mother. They just want her to realise that her comments don’t help.
Feminism
But for Rosin anyway it sounds like the problem isn’t one of lack of support, but rather of feminist discontent. Her angry ranting unfortunately discloses way too much about her own feelings about children and her husband for my comfort level and tells me in no uncertain terms that she resents breastfeeding (and by extension, her children) for the inequalities in her marriage and for her inability to focus on her career.
“But fear not, You,” she says, “The root of the problem is not the sudden realization that your ideal of an equal marriage, with two parents happily taking turns working and raising children, now seem like a farce.” Who is this You she is talking to? It feels like maybe this is her own issue, especially when you see how often it comes up. I already mentioned how she seethed at her husband in the night, how furious she was that he got to go to work. She goes on to say that she “was raised to expect that co-parenting was an attainable goal. But who were we kidding?” Okay, so she resents the fact that her feminist ideals of marriage are perhaps unrealistic? Fair enough.
But listen to the way she talks about raising children:
“after three children and 28 months of breast-feeding (and counting), the insistent cheerleading has begun to grate.”
“This time around, nirvana did not describe my state of mind: I was launching a new Web site and I had two other children to care for, and a husband I would occasionally like to talk to.”
“So I was left feeling trapped, like many women before me, in the middle-class mother’s prison of vague discontent: surly but too privileged for pity, breast-feeding with one hand while answering the cell phone with the other, and barking at my older kids to get their own organic, 100 percent juice”
“With her first child, for instance, a mother may be extra cautious, keeping the neighbor’s germy brats away and slapping the nurse who gives out the free formula sample. By her third child, she may no longer breast-feed…Maybe she is now using day care, exposing the baby to more illnesses. Surely she is not noticing that kid No.2 has the baby’s pacifier in his mouth, or that the cat is sleeping in the crib (trust me on this one). She is also not staring lovingly into the baby’s eyes all day, singing songs, reading book after infant book, because she has to make sure that the other two kids are not drowning each other in the tub.”
She uses words like grate, prison, trapped, germy brats, slapping and barking to describe raising children. She talks about 28 months and counting of breastfeeding. Maybe she should stop counting and try to enjoy it. She says that by her third child, she is not staring lovingly into the baby’s eyes. Maybe she should have stopped at two children then.
Rosin closes her article with a most jarring tribute to breastfeeding after more than 5000 words in her case against it. She says “breast-feeding does not belong in the realm of facts and hard numbers; it is much too intimate and elemental. It contains all of my awe about motherhood” and yet that is the only indication in the whole article of any kind of enjoyment, let alone awe of motherhood. The only positive thing she says about breastfeeding or her children is the last sentence: “But I also know that this is probably my last chance to feel warm baby skin up against mine, and one day I will miss it.”
She spends the rest of her article comparing breastfeeding to the vacuum in keeping women downtrodden, lamenting that there aren’t more women in “positions of serious power,” complaining about pumping at work as a newspaper reporter, and as mentioned above breastfeeding while answering the cell phone and launching a new Web site while caring for two children and a nursing baby. Hmmm. Maybe the problem isn’t breastfeeding but thinking we can have it all? Maybe it’s this unrealistic feminist ideal that is the problem. Maybe Rosin is upset because she is realizing that we can’t have it all, that we do have to make choices and sacrifices.
Rosin’s feminist rhetoric fumes about a woman’s time being worth nothing and yet it is the feminists themselves who decided that the work of mothers was not valuable, the ones who said that we should all want to get out and work with the men.
Personally I think it’s time for a new brand of feminism, a feminism that says that the most amazing work a woman can possibly do is to bear, nurse and raise her babies, a brand of feminism that says that if you want to work outside the home you can but you might have to make some tough choices, a brand of feminism that says a woman’s time IS worth something and a mother’s time is invaluable. I think feminism has done us a major disservice by saying that we should be able to work AND raise kids AND have time for ourselves. The simple biological truth is that child bearing and nursing must fall to women so now with our quest for workplace power we have the pressure to do everything. No wonder we are tired and stressed out and alienated. No wonder Rosin resents breastfeeding. Because the reality is that breastfeeding and motherhood (at least while our children are young) are pretty much a full-time job. It’s hard bloody work and yes, it’s really frustrating to do all that while holding down an outside job too.
Let me be clear here. I am NOT saying that mothers shouldn't work. I am saying that the demands on today's mothers are unfair; the bar has been set too high. My own feeling is that breastfeeding shouldn't really be a choice. That is, as much as possible, with a huge margin for medical difficulties and other issues like lack of support, breastfeeding should be one of those things that is a given for parents - just like providing shelter, food, love and schooling as our children grow. Because pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding fall to the females, there will undoubtedly be times in a woman's life where she has to choose between working and mothering. The first year after the birth of a baby is one of those times. If maternity leaves allowed mothers to stay home and focus on their babies while they need to be breastfed, women might find it easier to balance work life and family life. The problem is not breastfeeding. The problem is the lack of programs and support for women who want to prioritize breastfeeding. The problem is the expectation that no one should have to make those choices, that women should do everything.
Rosin needs to look in the mirror and consider if it really is breastfeeding that she is so disenchanted with. The illusion of co-parenting is not shattered by breastfeeding. The illusion crumbles because the expectations on women are unrealistic and unfair. As Rosin’s life became more complex breastfeeding seemed to her an unbearable burden but she never stops to ask why she took on so much. In The Case Against Breast-feeding, breastfeeding became the unfortunate scapegoat in our society’s quest to have it all.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Technicolor Birth Memories
I have just started reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. The first 1/3 of the book consists of birth stories, mostly from women associated with or at The Farm in Tennessee. The stories are varied, representing women from differing backgrounds but most are extremely positive and uplifting, beautiful.
Birth stories often have a play-by-play quality (first this happened, and then this, and then I said this and then...) as mothers recount every little detail. Other times, they are too short, only giving a general account of what happened. Despite this, I always love to read them.
As I read Ina May's Guide I was struck by some of the women's vivid memories of very small details of the day their children were born:
I looked at the clear blue November sky and the brown oak leaves and basked in the warmth of the sun.~ James's Birth
I remember the way the wind blew up the stairwell as I walked down with my beautiful son. Then the thunder and lightning began, and it started to pour rain, making everything cool and comfortable.~ Otis Francisco's Birth
It was quite comforting to curl up next to my man, listening to the sound of the woodstove crackling.~ Mulci's Birth
These tiny details, usually just a sentence here or there are what brought the stories to life for me. Some of the women talk about how the world was more vivid and clear, crisper than it had ever been before. I had never thought about it in quite that way before but as I remember my children's births, I realise that this is exactly true. The world, or at least certain parts of it, were in sharp focus. I have very vivid memories of a few small moments, sensations that will be with me all my life.
The day my son was born I remember the look of the lake, still and calm, reflecting the Indian Summer sunrise with the promise of a little more warmth before winter.
The day my daughter was born - I remember the rattle and hum of yet another load of towels and sheets in the dryer mingling with the shouts of children floating in the open window. I remember the early evening midsummer light, sun still high at 8:00 pm. I remember baby potatoes with dill from the garden.
I wonder about your experiences. What tiny detail is etched in your consciousness? If everyone shared their one bright moment, what kind of variation will we see? Will there be a difference between home birthers and hospital birthers?
Join the discussion on Facebook or post your comments here.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Review: The No-Cry Nap Solution
Usually I am wary of sleep books. My three year old son has resisted sleep since he was five months old. We tried everything. We read books. We struggled. Sometimes we just gave in and accepted that he wasn’t a sleeper. Somewhere in there I gave up on all advice about getting children to sleep. I quit reading the books and I followed my older sister’s tried and true parenting adage “Do What Works.” Since then we’ve added a family member (8 month old daughter) and we’ve seen that there are both similarities and differences in our children’s sleep personalities. We’ve attempted to do things a little differently with her and sometimes we’ve been successful and sometimes we haven’t.
Along came Elizabeth Pantley’s new offering, The No-Cry Nap Solution – Guaranteed Gentle Ways to Solve All Your Naptime Problems. Having read The No-Cry Sleep Solution when my son was a baby, I already respected Pantley’s approach and philosophies. She is well recommended by the docs (dad and sons) over at Dr. Sears and I respect her tireless efforts to spread the word about gentle ways to get your child to sleep. I too am fervently opposed to the Cry-It-Out approach so despite giving up on sleep advice, Pantley remained one of my favourite parenting authors.
The newest book in her No-Cry series did not disappoint in the least. Like previous offerings, this book is well-researched, sensitive and practical. She includes in-depth explanations about baby and child sleep patterns and about the science and benefits of naps. These sections were extremely helpful, provided several Aha! moments and paved the way for me to re-evaluate our daily schedule for both our pre-schooler and our baby. It gave me the background information I needed to discover why certain methods were working and others weren’t.
After some general discussion about sleep and naps, the rest of the book is organized around specific challenges and solutions. Each challenge is explained and followed by more than one way to solve it. The bonus here is that a busy mom doesn’t have to sit down and read the book cover to cover. After the first few chapters, it is easy to flip to the section that applies to you and come back whenever your situation changes to try something new. As long as you can get past the distracting references to other pages in every chapter, this small paperback will become a treasured reference book to come back to over and over.
Because the book is written for a general audience, it may feel daunting when the list of possible causes to catnaps includes so many possibilities that you don’t know where to begin. My daughter’s frequent wakings could be caused by teething, impending developmental leap (crawling) or separation anxiety. My son’s inability to settle for a nap could be caused by being over-tired or not tired enough. But Pantley is thorough; rest assured that she has guaranteed gentle suggestions for every possible scenario that you might face. Gentle solutions are not always easy solutions though and The No-Cry Nap Solution is certainly not a quick-fix manual. Some of Pantley’s suggestions have to be done over and over again before they work. It might take five times unlatching your nurse-to-sleep baby before you can sneak away. You might have to try several different methods before finding the one that works for you.
Sometimes a sleep-deprived parent will feel like it’s easier to just do what’s been working. Which brings me to my favourite thing about Elizabeth Pantley and The No-Cry Nap Solution: Pantley accepts that all families are different and she repeatedly asserts to do what works for you. She offers the log sheets and schedules to fill out and then says to go ahead and skip them if they don’t suit your personality. She describes sleep challenges like a baby that will only nap in arms and then explains that not all families will consider that a challenge. Her No-Cry Process for Peaceful Problem Solving was like a page torn from my parenting manifesto:
"Address only those problems that are true problems to you, and don’t create or imagine problems because someone else thinks you have them, no matter if that person is family, friend or expert."
As always, Pantley proves sensitive not only to differing parenting approaches and family situations but also to the child. Her suggestions are always gentle and never designed to cause the child distress and yet she recognizes that parents need practical ways to get their children to sleep so they can re-charge too. Her approaches are balanced and realistic in that the goal is rest for both parent and child.
The book is peppered with quotes and photos from real-life parents. The photos are sweet and sometimes funny. The quotes give a tired, frustrated parent hope, a glimmer of light at the end of a dark sleepless tunnel. Both give the book added credibility. The science and research are wonderful but it’s the fact that Pantley has tested these ideas on real families (209 in 18 different countries) that makes it feel like they might work in my own.
Amazingly, many of Pantley’s solutions did work for us, despite our track record. Some suggestions were new to us and have worked their magic in only a couple of short weeks. Others show promise but are not paying off just yet. Still others were old tricks that we found on our own through trial and error. Imagine my surprise when I read solutions in the book that I had learned to employ in our family while struggling with sleep for three years. It was like a message telling me that I do know what I’m doing. And thankfully for all of us, so does Elizabeth Pantley; this book is one more great reason why she is the trusted resource for all parents looking to help their children sleep better.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Friday, February 13, 2009
So tell me...
...Why would a woman want to have an unmedicated birth?
What a great question! And beautifully answered here by fellow blogger at Feminist Childbirth Studies.
Thank you to Sarah at Birth Matters Virginia for sharing.
Why did you want to give birth unmedicated? Leave a comment with your answer or join the discussion on our Facebook Group.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
What a great question! And beautifully answered here by fellow blogger at Feminist Childbirth Studies.
Thank you to Sarah at Birth Matters Virginia for sharing.
Why did you want to give birth unmedicated? Leave a comment with your answer or join the discussion on our Facebook Group.
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
Beautiful Breastfeeding Resources
Just a quick post to share some wonderful breastfeeding resources I came across today. These were posted on the BC Baby-Friendly Network as resources for World Breastfeeding Week in October 2008. There are all kinds of interesting things including posters for your workplace, clinic or shop, a doorhanger for a new mom that on the front reminds guests that mom and baby are resting and explains on the back how to nurse side-lying and a list of all the ingredients in breastmilk among other things.
I particularly liked this great Motivational Breastfeeding Poster Series:
Support - large or small
Satisfaction - large or small
Protection - large or small
Preferred - large or small
Healing - large or small
Family - large or small
Connection - large or small
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
I particularly liked this great Motivational Breastfeeding Poster Series:
Support - large or small
Satisfaction - large or small
Protection - large or small
Preferred - large or small
Healing - large or small
Family - large or small
Connection - large or small
Sweet Home Birth Boxes - the supplies you need no matter what your birth plan includes!
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