Remembering the Pearls of Mothering Advice

As a new or expecting mom, it seems you are open to a lot of unwanted and un-asked-for advice. It's easy to feel overwhelmed by it all. It's hard to sift through it and figure out what to listen to and what to toss. Sometimes we even feel resentful when we heed someone's advice and find that it really doesn't work for us. And often, the well-meant tips and suggestions leave us feeling judged and inadequate. But sometimes, we stumble on some great wisdom and we're grateful that someone shared it with us.

Sunday was my 4th Mother’s Day and in that short time (oh but it seemed long, didn't it?) I am amazed how often I've completely changed my mind about parenting specifics. As I look back, I begin to see that my parenting boils down to a few generalities and otherwise, there is a lot of room for improvisation. Always. There isn't a lot of advice that remained constant through it all. Yet, if I had to pinpoint three things that I’m glad someone told me as a new mom they would be:

Sleeping

Whether you co-sleep or use a crib in another room, whether you parent to sleep or teach baby to self soothe, whether you believe in schedules or flexibility, it is helpful to know this:

Little babies can only be up for about two hours before they are tired again. Knowing this can make all the difference in how your days unfold. Knowing this can soften sleep struggles. Take note of when they get up and watch them after about two hours. It’s easier to put a sleepy baby to bed than to fight a baby who is either over-tired or not tired at all.

Eating

If you can, breastfeed. It’s the best choice for mom and baby. There are health benefits for both of you. But more importantly, it’s not just a way of feeding baby. It’s a beautiful relationship. It’s not always easy and there are definitely areas where support could be improved from community, employers, governments and often, families and friends. But it’s worth it. If you are struggling, find help from La Leche League, Dr. Jack Newman, Kellymom, a lactation consultant or public health nurse. You’ll be glad you did.

Parenting

Do What Works. I learned this from my older sister, mother of four. This means do what works for your family. Trust your gut and if something is working for you, keep doing it. Don’t worry about what other people or experts think you should be doing. Just do what works. And be ready to change your methods because what works today might not work tomorrow. What works for this child might not work for the next one. Parenthood is an ever changing evolving practice. It will take lots of rearranging to strike a balance between what works for your kids and what works for you but if you keep at it, you can’t go wrong.

How about you? What pearls of wisdom were you grateful for as a new mother?

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